


Never Give up

by AttackPoodle



Category: Divergent (Movies), Divergent - All Media Types, Divergent Series - Veronica Roth
Genre: F/M, Multi, Smut, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-27
Updated: 2019-02-08
Packaged: 2019-04-28 16:27:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 15
Words: 27,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14453193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AttackPoodle/pseuds/AttackPoodle
Summary: I've been reading and enjoying Eric fan fiction and I decided that my untalented ass should join the fray. I'm going with movie Eric, because Jai Courtney.This will loosely follow the story of the book/movie to a point. I have a plan, but plans change so...we'll see where this goes.People choose their faction at 18.Constructive criticism is more than welcome.There will be smut later on. And implications of rape of a minor. I will post a warning at the start of that chapter and highlight when I'm going to start writing about it. No graphic details.





	1. Don't look

**Author's Note:**

> Here we go.  
> God help me. God help you.

The sun rose over the Amity fields, bathing the fields in a warm light. I watched the light creep closer to the base of the tree I’d spent the night in.  
Today was Choosing day and I was leaving my family.  
I’d gone through my test with the rest of my classmates and friends, expecting to get the result of my home faction like 95% of them. I didn’t. I got Dauntless. Deep down I was relieved, I loved Amity and I loved my family. But it became increasingly obvious as I grew up that I didn’t fit in there.  
Where my friends tended the fields and harvested the trees I leapt from cliffs into water and scaled trees. At age 7 I once climbed on top of a Dauntless vehicle and stood on top of it as it drove away. An olive skinned man in his early fifties took me to Johanna by the arm, although he chewed me out before he left he turned to me and told me he would see me in Dauntless one day.  
My mother had been mortified, none of my older brothers had caused that much trouble. If it hadn’t been for one-year-old Ash having an awful cold and being clingy and cranky I would have been in more trouble, as it was mom was distracted. But my oldest brother Aspen, who was elven, took it upon himself to tell me how silly I’d been. I could have been hurt, you know. Nine-year-old Leif copied his stance, shaking his head in disapproval. Luckily Hawke came to my rescue, we were only a year apart in age and were very close. He told them that they were being boring and it sounded like fun.  
He had his test next year, I was almost certain he would get Amity like our two older brothers. He’d grown out of his adventurous streak, I’d grown into it. Mom had been horrified when she caught me and Orion Smith having sex at the base of my favourite tree when I was sixteen, it only lasted until we got home and dad pointed out that she’d had Aspen at sixteen and it had worked out for them. But that quickly changed when I foolishly declared that I didn’t want a kid with Orion, I just wanted to have fun. Amity wasn’t exactly conservative when it came to sex, which is why my family of fourteen doesn’t really stick out, but at sixteen they expected a little more caution. I was lectured on teenage pregnancy and looking after myself. My poor parents didn’t realise that Orion was nowhere near the first guy I’d had sex with, nor in fact that my virginity had been taken years ago..  
“Orchid!”  
I grimace and look down. My oldest brother stands at the base of the, his strawberry blonde curls unruly in the wind were very like my own but his dark blue eyes were our mother’s where I’d inherited our father’s green. I feel an ache in my chest as I remember our father and his easy going ways, his smile that never failed to make me want to smile back, and his freckled skin which, like my own, couldn’t stand long in the sunlight.  
“Come on. Mom wants you to have a bath before we go. And she wants to know why the skirt she got you last week has suddenly lost a foot.” His eyes narrow in disapproval.  
Aspen took his big brother duties very seriously, which was why even after getting married and having two daughters of his own he still looked out for us all. Especially after dad died.  
I sigh and push myself forward to jump out the tree, landing with a soft thud in front of him, “I hate long skirts, she knows that. Besides, it looks way cuter how it is now.” I smile innocently. It bounces right off him. Dawn and Ivy had no chance.  
“There’s nothing left of it! It’s barely bigger than a belt!”

After my bath I gaze at myself in the mirror. I wore a knee length orange dress, it was new so I hadn’t had the chance to alter it yet but I found myself liking it. It clung to my curves without being too indecent.  
I wondered if mom knew I was planning on defecting from Amity. She must, it had been painfully obvious for a long time that I wasn’t a good fit here, and was clearly more suited to Dauntless. But after my father passed away a year ago I’d found it hard to even think about leaving Amity and I’d promised mom that I would never ever leave Amity. Of course time had passed and the grief had faded a little and I knew that the memories of my father shouldn’t be the only things keeping me here. He wouldn’t have wanted me to surrender who I was to cling to a ghost.  
I shake my head and comb my fingers through my light curls. Not many left Amity, of those two did almost none went to Dauntless. I would be the first in fifty years, lucky me.  
I head downstairs, mom and Hawke were dressed and ready to go.  
“No twins?” I asked, looking around for my baby brothers.  
“Aspen and Eve are looking after them.” My mother says with a small smile, I could see the dread in her eyes. She knew I wasn’t coming back.

I can barely sit still as Marcus, the leader of Abnegation, reads the names one by one. It was in alphabetical order and ‘P' seemed like it was at the bottom of the list. I clap absent-mindedly as a young boy from Candor joins us. Good luck to him.  
“Orchid Peace.” Marcus calls.  
Hawke and my mother briefly grab my hands before I stand and make my way down. My heart pounded as I walk up the platform to the five bowls. At one end was the soil of Amity and the other the Embers of Dauntless. I pick up the knife and pierce the skin on my palm, squeezing it lightly until a drop forms. I hold my hand over the Embers and let out a relieved giggle as my blood sizzles.  
I don’t look back to the Amity section as I walk to Dauntless, almost deafened by the cheers and whoops.  
A guy in his twenties stands and shakes my hand vigorously, “Welcome to Dauntless!” A huge grin on his face as he offers me his seat.  
I grin back and sit next to a Dauntless born boy who chose to stay with his faction. He smiles and holds his hand out, “Nero.”  
I open my mouth but clamp it shut again. Orchid didn’t seem to do it anymore.  
“You can change it.” The guy at my other side smiles, “But make it good. You only get one.”  
I nod and look back to the other initiate, “I’ll have to get back to you on that one.”  
He laughs and nods, “No worries.”

Dauntless leap to their feet and sprint out of the room before the last person has time to take their seat. Nero grabs my hand and pulls me after him before I really realise what’s happening. We race past the elevators and down the stairs, jumping steps, leaping over bannisters, I’ve never felt so happy and free. I do feel a twinge of guilt for not looking over to mom and Hawke before I left, but they had to understand.  
We burst out the building and race through the streets, those in front calling for people to move out our way. People dive to the side, not eager to be run over by our large group. We reach the train bridge and Nero grabs my waist and pushes me up, I grab the metal and start to climb. Seconds later he’s climbing at my side, “Damn, Amity. You’re better at this than I thought!” He looks exhilarated.  
I laugh and keep climbing, “I climbed the trees in Amity.” I tell him as I pull myself up onto the tracks, “It’s not much different.” I climb to my feet and inspect my dress, it was dirty and torn in places.  
He’s by my side in a heartbeat and pulls me back off the tracks, “How very Dauntless of you.” He teases.  
I shove his shoulder and laugh with him. I look to the side as the ground starts to rumble.  
“Come on!” Nero calls, already running down the track with the others. I startle and run with him, racing to catch up. The train appears at my side, a Candor boy behind me jumps and cries out in fright as his foot slips over the side.  
The man who gave me his seat in the hall grabs the boy's hand and pulls him back, “Careful!”  
“Amity!” My head snaps to Nero who us already on the train, his hand held out, “Come on!”  
My eyes widen. Shit.  
I push myself to run faster and my legs scream in protest, the end of the platform was coming fast.  
“Fuck it!” I jump and grab his hand with one hand and the handle with the other. He pulls me in, his eyes wide. He was having a great time. My heart was doing it’s best to pound it’s way out of my chest.  
“Same as climbing a tree?” He says with a cheeky smirk.  
“Fuck you.”  
He doubles over with laughter. Once he’s recovered he drags me through the train until we find a dark haired boy in Dauntless clothing with another Dauntless girl with bubblegum pink hair.  
“Sam, Coby.” He calls.  
“There you are Nero!” The boy smiles.  
“Who's your new friend?” The girl asks.  
“She hasn’t decided yet.” He laughs.  
My cheeks go pink, “My birth name doesn’t really...work.”  
“Had any thoughts?” She asks.  
I shake my head.  
We fall into a discussion about tattoos. Coby, who turns out to be the girl, is delighted that she can finally get her first tattoo and tells us in elaborate detail about the sleeve that she wants.  
“Sounds nice.” I smile as she describes the natural sounding design, “What made you think of that?” I ask.  
“We were learning about the Salem Witch Trials in history. It stuck.” She says cheerily.  
“I remember that. We learned about it too.” I hum, “They use a lot of natural remedies in Amity.”  
“Get ready!” Someone calls.  
The Dauntless born brighten and drag me to the door.  
“What are we...?” I look out and see people leaping off the train and onto a roof. To my surprise I find myself getting excites.  
“You wanna go first?” Sam asks me, seeing my face turn into a grin.  
“Yeah!” I take a few steps back, as soon as the roof appears I run and jump out the train, landing hard on the gravelly roof.  
Coby lands next to me, then Nero and Sam join us. Sam helps me to my feet, “Good job, Amity.” He smiles, picking up the nickname from Nero.  
“Thanks.” I grin breathlessly. My heart pounding with adrenaline.  
“Initiates!” everyone turns to the voice.  
A young man is standing at the edge of the roof, the opposite side of the tracks. He looks to be in his mid twenties, his hair is shaved in at the sides and slicked back on top, two black balls sit above his eyebrow and blocks of black ink dip under his black shirt.  
“Welcome to Dauntless.” He looks like he really cares, “This is your way in.” He glances behind him, “Who wants to go first?”  
No one moves or says a word. He wanted us to jump off the building? I look to Nero but he looks as apprehensive as the rest of us.  
“No one?” The man almost looks amused, “It would be a shame to..”  
“I’ll do it.” The words escape before I can stop them, cutting him off. He looks to me sharply, I feel uncomfortable under his stern gaze but swallow hard and straighten up, “I’ll jump first.”  
Nero looks at me like I’ve just sprouted an incredibly stupid second head.  
“Alright.” The man nods and steps down, “Up you come.”  
I start forward, someone had filled my shoes with lead when I wasn’t looking and every step was a monumental effort. I reach the wall and look over, I saw a dark hole but what was in it was a mystery. My heart leaps into my throat as I climb the edge and look into oblivion. I squeeze my eyes shut and turn around.  
The man opens his mouth, presumably to chastise me for wimping out.  
“Don’t look.” I breathe and jump backwards off the roof.


	2. Salem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first day in Dauntless. Wrought with lingerie, masturbation, and pushy older brothers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did a second chapter! Woohoo!  
> Thank you Debs for the comment and mystery person for the kudos!

I let out a relieved laugh as my back hits something hard and stretchy. It flings me up a couple of feet and I land again, laughing and cheering not to have just jumped to my death.  
Suddenly I jerk to the side and roll to the edge of what I now realise is a net. A young man with sandy brown hair and dark brown eyes helps me down, “Amity, huh? What, did Eric push you?” He looks amused.  
“No. I jumped all on my own, thanks.” I brush down my dress and look around.  
“Name?” He asks.  
I look to him.  
“Do you need a minute for that one?” The sarcasm is back.  
“Salem. Salem Bishop.” I smile confidently.  
“Alright.” He turns to the crowd, “First jumper, Salem!” He calls.

Nero comes next and stands by my side, “I can’t believe you jumped first, Amity. You’re crazy.”  
“Salem.” I correct him, “My name is Salem. And it wasn’t exactly the plan. My mouth went then my brain caught up afterwards.”  
“Salem? Nice.” He nods approvingly, “Eric probably would have either failed us all or picked someone and shoved them. So you did us all a favour.”  
“You’re welcome.” I giggle.

The young man I now knew was named Eric stands in front of us. The last initiate had taken the jump and Eric and the others were now down with us.  
“Listen up!” He snaps and all noise ceases, “My name is Eric. I'm one of your leaders.” My eyebrows raise. Damn, I thought he was in his early twenties, he didn't look old enough to be a leader, “You have chosen to join us, now we're going to train you to be the best. You'll go through three stages of training which your instructor will go over with you. At the end of each stage some of you will be cut. Yes, cut." He snaps when mouths drop, "We only want the best here. If you have a problem with that then you can clear out now. Dauntless born with Lauren." He motions to a young woman with a serious face and honey blonde hair tied in a tight ponytail, "Transfers with Four." He says the name of the young man who helped us off the net with some distaste. With that the room clears, leaving us with the two trainers.  
"Alright." Lauren says loudly, "Dauntless born with me. I take it you don't need a tour." She starts to walk.  
"See you around, Salem." Nero smiles and hugs me before leaving with Sam, Coby and the rest of the dauntless born initiates.  
I smile a little sadly and glance to my fellow transfers, most seemed to be still reeling from Eric's news that some of us would be factionless before initiation was complete.  
"Right, transfers. Let's move." Four leads us the other way.

Dauntless turns out to be far larger than I could have expected. It's like a small city in it's own right carved out of stone. There were stores carrying everything from clothes to scented candles, there were tattoo parlours, places to get piercings, bars, a couple of eateries, and I could have sworn I saw a plant shop at one point. My head is spinning by the time we get to the large bustling canteen.   
Four tells us that unlike the eateries the canteen is open 24/7 and available to everyone, most eateries are exclusively for members of leadership.  
He takes us to a small dormitory, with a series of camp beds laid out in rows. The toilets and showers are in a secluded area but there is no separation between them, clearly there would be no privacy in dauntless.  
We're told to take a bag and pick a bed. I look through and select a bag with my size on it and bring it to a bed in the back corner of the room, away from the shower/toilet area and away from the door.   
I start stripping off without a second thought. There was no such thing as privacy when growing up with fourteen siblings so the idea of getting undressed with other people in the room didn’t concern me as much as it did some of my fellow transfers. A few openly gawked at me as I stepped out of my dress and look over the clothes they had given us. Two pairs of tight black pants I hear an Erudite girl call leggings, two pairs of baggy pants with pockets down the sides, several black t-shirts with varying lengths of sleeve, underwear, sleepwear, and comfortable black shoes. I frown and look through it all again, "Um, Four?" I turn to him.  
"Yes?" He looks to me, focusing very hard on my face.  
"There aren't any bras in here." I say with mild confusion. They didn't expect us to wear the same bra day after day did they?  
His eyes almost flicker down, "We don't include them, too much variation in....sizes. But I'll show you where you can get some before we go for dinner."  
"Oh. Okay." I nod and pull on a pair of the baggy pants and a t-shirt whose sleeves ended at my elbows, I supposed that made sense. I slip my feet into the shoes and look myself over. I wore new clothes more often than anyone else in my family, being the first girl and having the...proportions I did I was difficult to get clothes for. Which was why I ended up altering most of my outfits.  
I glance around, most people were standing in a group to protect each other's modesty. They seemed to be sticking with people from their birth faction.   
I was at a disadvantage.

I was relieved when I saw Nero, Sam, and Coby already in the canteen when we arrived. We'd taken a detour so Four could show us where we could find lingerie shops. The bras in that shop were nothing like I'd seen before, with different materials and lace, and they had different cuts. I was dying to finish eating so I could go and check them out. Four said we were free to do as we pleased after dinner, although we had to be back in our rooms by ten pm and we had to be up and in the training room by eight am.  
I take a seat next to Coby, Nero and Sam. The boys are already deep in conversation.  
"Hey!" She says with a bright smile, "What do you think of the accommodations?"  
"Not that bad." I shrug and pile food from the hot trays in the middle of the table onto my plate, "I didn't have much privacy in Amity so it's not a big deal."  
“Those two are being real divas about it.” She points to Sam and Nero who glare back at her, “You should have seen Nero's face when he saw the toilets and showers.”  
“What? A guy can't have a shower in peace?” He grumbles.  
“Guess you'll have to find another way to crack one off.” Coby says with an angelic smile.   
“What does that mean?” I ask before Nero gets the chance to lose it with her.   
“You know. Cleaning his rifle.”   
I blink in confusion.  
“Beating his meat?”  
I look to Sam and Nero. Both had become intensely interested in their food.   
She sighs, “Masturbating.”  
“Oh. Damn I didn't think of that. That's going to be frustrating.” I frown as I start to eat, “I guess we'll have to find somewhere. No way am I going that long without any kind of release.”  
I eat a few bites before I realise they're looking at me in shock.  
“What? Girls have needs too. And I don't have any of my usual partners.” I stick my bottom lip out, “I guess I'll just have to hope that the people in my class get over themselves before I get really bored. Unless there's someone in your class?” I ask.   
It takes a few moments before any of them recover enough you respond to that.  
“You're just gonna...have sex for stress relief?” Nero asks slowly.  
“Yeah. It works really well.” I smile, “Better than anything else I've tried.”  
They look at each other.  
“What?” I frown.  
“You're so...open about it. You'd have sex with a guy just for fun?” Sam asks.   
“It doesn't need to be a guy. And yes, I would. Sex and masturbation aren't things people should be embarrassed about. It’s a totally normal thing that people do.” I shrug, “I’m from Amity, not Abnegation.”  
“You do girls? Hot.” A young man with the same dark blonde hair and tanned complexion as Nero takes a seat with us, shoving Nero up the bench.  
“Seriously, Caesar?” Nero grumbles, “You don't have your own friends to sit with?”  
“Who's the new girl?” Caesar asks, piling food on his plate.   
“Salem. This is my older brother Caesar. Caesar, Salem.” He sighs dejectedly, “He's an asshole so feel free to ignore him.”  
I giggle, “Nice to meet you, Caesar.”  
“You too.” Caesar hums, “Where you from?” He asks as he stuffs a burger in his mouth.   
“Amity.” I smile and finish off my food, “Coby? Do you want to go and do some shopping?”   
“Please.” She lifts her empty plate and gets up, “You boys have fun.”  
I stand and follow Coby over to a long counter where people are dumping their plates and cutlery. Above us was a huge platform, I wondered if this was where they had their faction meetings. I turn to ask Coby but the two doors at the other end of the hall bang open, scaring the shit out of me. 

Immediately the room goes quiet. 

So far I only knew of one man who had that kind of effect on people, and I wasn't surprised to see Eric walking between the tables and stopping to talk to Four and Lauren. The conversation was quick and seemingly one-sided, Four and Lauren got up and followed Eric out the same door he'd made his dramatic entrance with.   
Conversation slowly built up again.   
I turn back to Coby and open my mouth.   
“Dauntless!” A booming voice comes from the platform above us. I jump again.  
Coby drags me back to the tables by my arm. I look up and see a slim dark skinned man with dark facial hair.   
“For those of you who don't know me, my name is Max. I’m one of your leaders. It’s my job to welcome all of the new initiates to Dauntless, for however long you'll be with us.” My stomach tightened, I didn't want to be cut, “You have chosen the warrior faction. That comes with a lot of responsibility and we only take the best. Do us proud.”  
The room erupts with cheers.   
“Thanks, Uncle Max!” Coby calls.   
I look between them. Same dark skin, same mouth, same eyes. That made sense.   
He nods to her but I can see him suppress a smile as we're lifted into the air by members of Dauntless. We squeal and laugh, reaching for each other's hands so we don't get separated. 

“That was quite a welcome.” I hum as I look myself over in the changing room mirror.   
After being tossed around for a while Coby and I escaped to go lingerie shopping. She knew the way here so we didn't have to rely on my vague memory.   
A saleswoman who looked to be in her late twenties had immediately grabbed us when we got in. She was delighted when I told her I wasn't sure if my size and had never seen underwear like this before. I was immediately taken to the changing room where after one look I was brought a selection of bras, all of which had fit perfectly.  
I had two piles by my feet, yes and no. I had tried to be practical at the start, taking sports bras and t-shirt bras but the lure of lace and silky fabrics had been too much.  
“Tell me about it.” Coby laughs in the next room over, “I was concerned we were gonna get dropped.”  
“So Max is your uncle?” I ask as I remove a lilac bra with white lace and drop it in the yes pile.  
“Yup.” She hums, “He’s firm but fair. He is a nice guy.”  
“What about the other guy? Eric?”  
“He's...I don’t know. He’s an asshole for sure. But there’s something about him that sets my teeth on edge, you know?”   
I frown. I didn’t know, he seemed strong and scary to me. But I didn’t get any weird vibes from him, “I guess he has a lot to prove. He’s what....twenty? And he’s a leader?”  
“I guess.” I hear her curtain open, “Might just be me. But there’s something about him I don’t trust.”

With help from the sales assistant we gathered our new lingerie sets and headed back to our dorms. The conversation turning to our training tomorrow, we were both apprehensive but excited to start initiation.   
We say goodbye at the entrance to my dorm and promise to see each other at lunch the next day. 

Everyone is already back when I walk in with my bags. They watch me as I move to my bed and carefully put it all away.   
Slowly people climb into bed and the lights go off suddenly, Four had mentioned they would go off a little after ten but it was still a shock. I grope around until I find my night clothes and get changed. I put my clothes for the day away and add my underwear to the box marked “laundry” at the foot of my bed.  
I climb into bed and close my eyes. The bed was hard and uncomfortable but after several minutes of tossing and turning I finally fall asleep.


	3. Obedience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Salem's fist day of training doesn't go quite how she expects.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the notes and kudos! They're so appreciated!

No one else is up when I wake. The lights are still off and the room pitch black. I wait a few moments for my eyes to adjust then sit up.   
I never could go back to sleep when I woke up, and I liked to run in the morning. I grope around for my clothes as silently as possible and dress in leggings, a shirt, and one of the jackets before slipping out the room. Four had mentioned that we needed someone with us if we were going to leave the compound. I didn’t know how early it was but there was no one around.  
I arrive at the canteen and hesitate as I spot Eric standing with Max up on the platform. I’m about to turn on my heel and escape when Max spots me.  
“Initiate!” He calls.  
I’m screwed.  
I turn back, “Yes, sir?”  
“What are you doing?”  
“I wanted to go for a run. I was looking for Four to ask if I could go.”  
They both stare for a few moments.  
“You realise it's five thirty am?” Eric asks incredulously.  
“I didn’t. But that’s good. I have time for a run and a shower before training.” I smile.  
Neither of them seem to know what to say to that.  
“So....can I go?” I ask.  
They look at each other. Neither of them seem to be able to come up with any reason why not.  
“Fine.” Max shrugs, “I’ll have someone meet you at the South entrance.”  
“Um...where’s that?” My cheeks heat up.  
“I’ll show you.” Eric looks irritated.

“Four didn’t show you where the entrances are?” He snaps. I almost jump, he hadn't said a word since we’d left the canteen.  
“No. I mean, I don’t suppose we really need to know. Not right now, anyway.” I hum.  
He huffs, “I’ll have a word with him.”  
I roll my eyes, he was just begging for a reason to start an argument with him. I got the feeling those two didn’t get along.  
A young man in loose pants and a long sleeved t-shirt stands against the door, he stood on one leg and held the other against his stomach.  
“Nolan!” Eric calls, “You going for a jog with the newbie?”  
The young man looks up. He was kinda hot, deep green eyes and dark hair.  
“Yeah. Max caught me before I went out.” He smiles and drops his leg, “You two are up early. Coming to that meeting in Erudite?”  
He nods a little, “Make sure she’s back by seven thirty.”  
“Will do. Let's go initiate.” He puts a code in and the two large doors roll open.

I thought it would be a quiet run, but Nolan seemed happy to chat. He told me he was about to be promoted to leadership as head of intelligence. But that would be after initiation, one of the recruits might get his job.  
“Really? Someone who’s brand new can be head of patrols?” I ask as we jog downhill.  
“Yeah. If someone picks it. They’ll shadow me for a couple of months and that’s it. If no one picks it then someone will get promoted.” He explains.  
“So what is it you do?” I ask.  
“Decide what sections need how many patrols, patrol routes, arrange responses to incidents.” He doesn’t sound especially thrilled.  
“That sounds really depressing.” I say cheerily.  
“It is. I miss being on patrols.” He sighs and starts to pick up the pace, “Being a leader sounds fun, you get to make decisions. Unfortunately you have to deal with all the bullshit too.”

We arrive back at the compound a little before seven. My blood was really pumping and I felt awake and energized.  
“Good run, initiate. Same time tomorrow?” Nolan asks as he stretches his arms.  
“Can’t wait.” I smile to him. He smiles back and waves me off.  
The compound is a little busier now but still nowhere near as busy as it was during our tour yesterday. I see a few people watch me curiously as I make my way back to the dorm.   
No one was awake. I slip in and shower, luckily the bathroom area was dimly lit so I wasn’t showering completely blind. I used the stuff supplied by Dauntless. It smelled like nothing, I'd have to get Coby to show me where to buy some nice scented stuff.  
I dry off and change back into the leggings and t-shirt I'd been wearing on my run, no point in changing.  
I run into Four on my way to the canteen. Literally. I bounce off him and land on my ass.  
“Sorry.” He offers me his hand, “Wasn’t paying attention.”  
“It’s alright.” I take his hand and pull myself up, “I wasn’t either.”  
“Eric told me you went out for a run this morning.” His voice sounds slightly strained. I’m sure that’s all he said.  
“Yeah. I like running in the morning.” I smile.  
“Well I’m taking the rest on a run this morning to warm up. We'll be back at about nine. Meet us in the training room.”  
I nod, “Okay.”  
I can’t help but feeling a little gleeful as I make my way to the canteen. My run with Nolan was way more fun than it would have been with my classmates, that I was sure of. And they were only running for an hour, that was barely worth it. They probably wouldn’t break a sweat.

I was wrong.   
I wandered into the training room a little before nine and everyone was already back. They were sprawled on the floor and dripping with sweat.  
“Hey!” The Candor boy who had almost fallen off the tracks on the way here snaps and points at me, “This is bullshit! Why didn’t she have to run?!” He drops his arm quickly.  
“Because she got up at 5am and went for a two hour run already. I didn’t see the need for her to run again.” Four stands with his arms folded, deeply unimpressed, “You all need to work on your stamina. If you can’t handle a forty five minute run you’re not going to cope well with anything else we're going to do.”   
He looks at me, “I’m going to put you with another trainer until this lot can handle a jog around the block.”   
My cheeks go red as he storms out the room. I look to my fellow transfers.  
If looks could kill I'd be dead and buried. But they all looked too exhausted to get up to do anything.  
I shift awkwardly, not really sure what to say or do. Four returns, my heart sinks, with Eric. They both look pissed.  
“Your instructor tells me that you’re all so pathetic a little walk around the block has wiped you out.” Eric snaps, “You think you belong here?!”  
The silence is deafening.  
“You. With me.” He points to me and storms out the room.  
I look to Four pleadingly as I follow him out. God help me.

“Again.” Eric snaps.  
My aching arm snaps out and hits the punching bag. It felt like I'd been standing here for hours.  
“Again.”  
I strike the bag again. My arm was going to fall off, I was sure of it.  
“Again.”  
I leave some blood from my knuckles on the bag.   
“Switch.”  
I turn my body the way he'd showed me, my left hand now out front.  
“Again.”

Eric was evil. Pure evil. After we'd left the training room he lead me to the gym. We parked in front of a punching bag and he’d spent the first few minutes watching me hit the bag. He'd promptly dismissed my technique as useless and nudged me out the way. He peeled off his jacket and tossed it aside.  
“Watch me.” He'd snapped. I watched him strike the bag over and over. He had amazing strength, his body looked like it was built for this. I could see the definition in his arms and shoulders, and the parts of his back bared by his black tank top.  
“Your turn.”   
I'd almost jumped when he stepped away from the bag. I moved back in front of it and tried to copy his stance. He sighed impatiently and nudged my legs further apart with his foot, “Arms higher, protect your head.” He lifted my arms and put his hands on my hips to turn me a little more, “Use your shoulder and your back too when you hit.”  
I nodded and struck the bag, surprised at how much harder I’d hit it.

“Again.”  
I obey mindlessly.  
“Good.” He nods, “Now use your other hand too. Two strikes.”

I couldn’t believe it when he told me we were breaking for lunch.  
“It’s only lunch time?” I asked.  
“It’s one o’clock.” He hums and pulls his jacket back on.  
We’d only been working for three hours. I felt proud, we’d done punching, a few kicks, and some elbow and knees. And he’d seemed happy with them all.  
I hurt all over but I felt good. Eric didn’t give praise but I could see his lips curl up in a little smile when I did something right.  
I had lunch with Nero, Coby, and Sam. They were envious that Eric was training me, even if it was only temporary. The rest of the transfers came through not long after me, all of them shot me daggers and it made me want to shrink in my chair.  
But I had a good lunch with my friends, we talked about what we would do after training. Coby wanted to go shopping for clothes, Nero was happy to join us, Sam informed us he’d rather swim in the chasm.  
I shuddered a little. Four had taken us there during our tour, the wet walls and raging waters a hundred feet below us had an uneasy feeling. I guessed before he admitted that people would throw themselves in the chasm to commit suicide. At least one initiate every year would be fished out. I was determined it wouldn't be me but...I glance to my fellow transfers.   
They were still glaring. 

Eric had come to get me from the canteen, skipping the big entrance this time, and took me outside to a gun range. I shrunk away from the guns at first, the fighting was fun but this...this was different.   
“It won't bite. Pick it up.” He doesn't quite snap this time, maybe he felt a little sympathy for me?  
I lift the small gun he'd pointed to, it was heavier than it looked and it felt cold in my hands. Eric guides me over to my section and points to the target only a few feet away, “Aim there.”  
I lift the gun with both hands and point it at the target. He adjusts my stance a little, “Hold it firmly, but not too tight.” He’s right against me now, adjusting my arms. He's taller than me by about half a foot and has to lean over me slightly, trapping me with his body. My heart beats faster and my cheeks go pink. He smelled good, like leather, sandalwood, and something rich I couldn’t quite put my finger on. It was so different from the scents I was used to in Amity.  
I find myself shifting against him, my butt rubbing against his groin thanks to my long legs. His grip tightens on my arms and he lets out a heavy breath.  
We both stand frozen for a moment then he lifts my arms a little and steps back.  
“Fire.”  
I obey immediately without thinking. The gun jumps in my hand as I squeeze the trigger so I hold it tighter. Eric steps forward and looks to the target.  
I look to the target. I’d hit it, which was a good start, just on the outer ring.   
I grin, “Cool.”  
He lingered a little longer this time when he helped me with my stance, adjusting my hips, nudging my thighs with his knee, his knee going up a little higher than necessary making heat bloom in my abdomen.   
My mind was a million miles away from the gun in my hand. I wondered how he would taste, what he sounded like when lost in the throes of pleasure. I bet he was rough too. Really rough.   
My breath hitches as the thought and I hand to quash the desire to press my thighs together, ending up rubbing against him again.   
A deep growl rumbles in his chest. I bet he made that noise in bed.   
“Fire.” His voice is low and husky. If I wasn’t already drenched I was now.  
I squeeze the trigger without a thought.   
“Again.”  
I fire.   
“Again.”  
Another bang.   
“Again.”  
“Again.”  
“Again.”  
I'm almost panting by the time I fire the last bullet, and I can hear his breathing is a little heavier too. I don't dare turn around to look at him. If I did I would probably do something really embarrassing like jump him.   
“Well done.”   
I look up, the big red circle in the middle of the target was gone. Pride swells in my chest and I turn to look to him.  
He was looking at me with a single minded focus, like whatever I was about to say or do was of vital importance to him. It turned me on even more.  
“We're done for the day.” He turns and walks back to the compound. I drop the gun back on the table I'd retrieved it from and follow him.

He didn’t say a word as we walked. His hands clenched into tight fists, his knuckles white.  
I shouldn’t have done that, any of it. He was probably really mad at me for behaving so inappropriately. I’d probably get stuck back in Four's class.  
He disappears around a corner and I follow him. I stop in my tracks, the corridor was empty. Where did he..?  
I take a step forward and feel myself getting yanked to the side. A door slams shut and I look up.  
Eric's face was inches from my own. He didn’t look mad. His eyes were burning with lust.  
A raging heat builds in my abdomen.  
“Next lesson of Dauntless. Don’t start what you can’t finish.” There’s a note of command in his voice.  
I look into his grey-blue eyes then down to the fly of his jeans.  
“Who says I can’t finish?”


	4. Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut ahoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudos! I'm glad you guys are enjoying this! ^.^

He doesn’t say a word as I move down onto my knees. I look up at him, batting my eyelashes and smiling sweetly, “May I?”  
His jaw clenches and he nods slightly.  
“Thank you, sir.” I say softly and reach up to unbutton his jeans. I pull the zip of his fly down and push his jeans down to his ankles.  
God damn. He’s straining against his boxers, and the boxers didn’t seem to be winning. I tear my attention away and sit up a little on my knees, pushing his tank top up to kiss his abdomen. I get a glimpse of his muscled body, he was cut.  
My fingers slide up his leg as I make my way over to his hip, kissing and gently nipping with my teeth. My hand had now made its way up to his boxers, massaging him through the silky material. I smile when I hear his breathing pick up.  
I suck on his hipbone, leaving a little bruise.  
“Fucking tease.” He growls.  
I giggle, “Want to skip to the main event?” I ask and hook my fingers in his boxers, kissing and nuzzling his length through the material.  
“Fuck.” The word escapes with a heavy breath.  
I take that as a yes.  
I pull his boxers down and smirk as he springs free. He was as hard as a rock and fucking huge. I feel an ache between my legs. I wouldn’t be able to walk for a week after having him.  
I sit up on my knees and grasp him firmly, five fingers curled around his base as I slip his head past my lips. He lets out a strangled moan with a quick flick of my tongue.  
Poor man, it had been far too long for him.  
I trace the line of his head with my tongue and take him into my mouth, sucking delicately. I drag my nails lightly down his abs, smirking as I feel his muscles flex under his pale skin. I push my head forward and massage his shaft with my tongue, rolling the sides of my tongue.  
I glance up at him, he was staring down at me with that single-minded focus again. My breath catches in my throat and I bat my eyelashes at him as I ease him further into my mouth, his eyes narrow.  
“For fucks sake! Don’t you have a gag reflex?!” He growls as his head falls back and his hips push forward.  
I giggle and take his hand, resting it on the back of my head. He needs no prompting to immediately grip my hair. I whimper a little at his tight hold but he doesn’t ease up, he pushes my head down further but I rest my hands on his thighs to stop myself. I did have a gag reflex, but I could get him further in if I took my time.  
I hear him growl again as I take a deep breath and gently ease him back into my throat.  
Demanding man.  
I take deep slow breaths until he finally pushes into my throat and lets out a strangled cry, gripping my hair tighter.  
“Fuck me!” He groans.  
I hum a little, vibrating my throat around him. He pushes my head down further on his dick, “You’ve got teeth. Use them.”  
That catches me off guard, my teeth? Really?  
I apply the lightest pressure on him that I can with my teeth around his base and nuzzle his trim hair. He manscaped, why didn’t that surprise me?  
His breath escapes in a rush, “Harder.” He moans.  
I do as I’m told, increasing the pressure ever so slightly and sucking and swallowing. My nipples tighten when he moans again, yanking my hair. Between my thighs starts to ache and I push my free hand into my panties, no sense in him having all the fun. My free hand cups his balls as I slide my fingers between my folds and rub gently, moaning softly.  
“Shit!” Eric cries and thrusts his hips forward while shoving my head down.  
I let him take over, roughly fucking my mouth and yanking my hair until my throat and scalp go numb, my fingers rub circles into my sensitive clit. My stomach grows hot and tight as he pulses in my throat, his moans have become breathless pants. He thrusts into my mouth with wild abandon and I suck and swallow, moaning and whimpering as my slick fingers slide over my aching bud.  
“Salem!” His choked out cry is like a warning but I don't have time to prepare myself for him as my orgasm rocks through me, sending searing pleasure burning through my veins. I barely feel his frantic thrusts shuddering to a halt as he comes down my throat. I breath heavily with his cock in my mouth, my breaths shaky.  
We remain how we are for a long moment. My head swimming with the overwhelming rush of pleasure. Then suddenly he's dressing me to my feet, his pants back in place.  
“This never happened.” His voice is low and cold, “You got that? You tell anyone about this you're out.”  
I nod. He leaves quickly and I look around the small room.  
Great. I blew my instructor in a fucking stationary cupboard. 

I wait a few minutes after he leaves before slipping out and going to the canteen. This was not how I'd expected my first day of training to go.  
None of the other initiates were in the canteen when I got there so I took a seat at an empty table and piled some food on my plate. Things were going to be so awkward in training now. He'd seemed pretty angry before he left, would he just shove me back in Four's class? Or pass me on to someone else? Probably, he couldn't exactly keep training me when he'd just had his dick in my mouth.  
I sigh and pick at the mystery meat on my plate.  
“What's with your face?” I jump and drop my fork. Caesar sat in front of me shoving a burger down his throat.  
“What?” I pick my fork back up.  
“Your face is tripping you.”  
“Gee. Thanks. I’m guessing you're single?” I grumble and stab my meat. Nero was right.  
“Nope. But you didn't answer my question.” He points out, “Nero told me Eric's training you. He threatening to cut you already?”  
Only if I tell someone he fucked my mouth .  
“Not yet. I'm just tired, it's been a long day. And my head kinda hurts.” I shove some food in my mouth. It wasn't exactly a lie, now that the feeling had returned to my scalp it kind of felt like someone had held me over the chasm by my hair.  
“You should go see the medic.” He suggests as he grabs another spoonful of the mystery meat.  
“I'm not seeing the medic for a headache. Besides, I have my physical in two days and the less time I spend there the happier I'll be.” I grumble.  
“Is my brother bugging you again?” Nero takes a seat beside his sibling, joined by Sam while Coby takes a seat beside me.  
“Yes.” I fix a fake smile on my face, “How was training for you guys?”  
Sam shrugs, “Alright. We did knife throwing, Coby couldn't hit the broad side of a barn.”  
“Fuck you.” She dumps a massive spoonful of mystery meat on her plate. She looked genuinely pissed.  
I look to Sam and Nero but they both shrug and start up a conversation with Caesar.  
“Are you okay?” I ask her softly.  
“I’m fine.” She says sharply.  
“Alright..” I chew my lip and leave it alone. She'd talk when she was ready.

Once again we leave the boys and go to do some shopping, looking at cosmetics and hair products. But this time Coby is sullen and quiet, snapping at the assistants and other customers.  
After a heated altercation with a woman who she had banged into I drag her out the store to a quiet area, “Enough. Speak.”  
She glares defiantly at me but I just fold my arms and wait, I'd had eighteen years of experience dealing with stubborn siblings.  
“Fine. I’m mad.” She sighs eventually.  
“No shit. Why?”  
“Because everyone says I'm only going to make it because Max is my uncle.” She looks down at the ground, “I’m not that great with fighting. And I was awful at the knife throwing..”  
“You’ll get better. We’ve literally just started. It’s the first day.” I point out, “Besides, what do they know?”  
“I’m second from the bottom in our class already.” She says quietly.  
“Then they'll be really surprised when you knock them all down a peg.” I smile.  
She finally looks up at me and smiles, “Yeah? You think so?”  
“I know so. Don't beat yourself up about it. Focus on getting better.”  
Her smile gets a little brighter, “Thank you. That means a lot.”  
“No problem. The next time you need reminding how awesome you are just ask me.” I say with a laugh.  
She laughs too, “Come on. If I have to wash my hair with that awful stuff they've given us one more time I'm going to scream.” She links her arm with mine and drags me back into the shop. 

We meet Sam and Nero on our way back to the dormitories.  
“What have you two got now?” Sam laughs.  
“Hair stuff and face stuff.” I grin. Truth be told I didn't know what half of it was but Coby insisted I had to buy it.  
“We got some make up and some nice smelling shampoo and conditioner. You know, that stuff you clean your hair with?” She smiles sweetly.  
He scowls at her. I examine his dark hair, it looked clean to me.  
“I'll help you back to your dorm.” He takes my heavy bags.  
“Thanks.” I grin, “See you two tomorrow!” I hug Nero and Colby before walking with Sam, “Thanks again for this. It's a lot heavier than it looks.”  
“No problem.” He says casually.  
I glance at his arms, he had some nice definition too. Not quite like Eric but still...  
“Here we are.” He hums, “Well. Enjoy your new shampoo.”  
“I will.” I grin, “And thank you again for carrying them. I'll have to repay you.”  
“I'm sure I'll think of something.” There was a slight suggestive tone to his words as he passes me the bags.  
“Let me know when you do.” I let my fingers linger on his for a moment before taking my bags, “But make it soon. I don't like to wait.”  
“Yes, ma'am.” His lips curl up in a smirk, suddenly his face goes from interesting to devastating as his hazel eyes heat up and I start to fantasize how they would look above me in bed.  
I don't get to wonder for long as he turns on his heel and walks away, “Soon.” He calls back. 

Bastard.


	5. Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just a light and fluffy chapter.  
> I enjoy writing Salem with her friends and I won't be able to write them like this for long. 
> 
> So here's Salem, Coby, Sam, and Nero having some fun together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudos and the comments! They really mean a lot!

Slam!  
“Ow.” I grumble and try to blink the stars it off my eyes.  
Tori stands above me with her hand on her hips, cool and collected like she hadn't just thrown me on the mat with her thighs, “Try again.”  
It had been a few days since Eric and I had had our moment in the fourth floor supply closet and I hadn’t seen him since. When I'd returned from my run with Nolan the next day Tori had been waiting. She told me that Eric was away on leadership business and he’d instructed her to take over my training while he was gone. I thought the timing was a little suspicious but after a couple of hours I started to hope he wouldn’t come back. Tori had a totally different technique which used the whole body, we were both pretty slim, although she had a fair amount of muscle too, and she told me this would give me an advantage over bigger slower men. My Amity background also came in handy, years of doing yoga made me flexible so I could get into the positions she needed.  
But it was still a hard thing to learn. And learning to do it had meant she was doing to moves on me several times until I could see the technique, which hurt like hell.  
I drag myself to my feet and nod, “I'm ready.”

When I leave the gym at the end of the day everything hurts. Things I didn't know could hurt, hurt. Everything from my fingers to my shoulders scream when I try to cut my meatloaf until Sam takes it and does it for me. We had silently agreed to put our seduction game on hold until I could move...well, anything without it hurting.  
I look to him with gratuity in my eyes, “Thank you.”  
He laughs softly, “It's alright. You looked like you were ready to cry.”  
“What is she doing to you?” Nero asks, “It must be pretty intensive.”  
True to my word I hadn't told my friends about Eric and I’s little adventure, so they thought nothing of it when Tori took over my training. Initially they'd thought it was a bit of a downgrade but when I told them what we were doing they’d changed their minds real quick.  
“It is.” I admit, “But it’s really great. We did it again after lunch before weapons training.”  
“Here.” Sam slides my plate towards me and I smile gratefully.  
“Thank you.” I grin and start to eat, I was so hungry that I would probably have another slice after this one. I grew up vegetarian in Amity but now my body craved meat after my training, I ate like a pig. I’d never been one to eat until I was stuffed but now that tight feeling in my stomach was all that could stop me eating.  
“What do you guys wanna do tonight?” Sam asks.  
“I’m not sure. I was thinking about getting my sleeve started.” Coby hums, twirling her curly pink hair around her finger.  
“Yeah! Let’s get tattoos!” Nero grins.  
“I’m down.” I smile.  
Sam nods, “I guess we're going to the tattoo parlour then.”

After my fourth slice of meatloaf we go up to the tattoo parlour. They’re quiet so Coby immediately grabs one of the artists and enthusiastically describes the design she wants, Sam, Nero, and I look through the books. I had no idea what I wanted. I wanted something kind of pretty and feminine but nothing was jumping out at me. I flick through the pages slowly, seeing bits and pieces of a design I’d like but nothing I'd want on my body forever.  
“Need a hand?”  
I jump and turn around. The young man behind me had bright blue hair and I couldn’t see an inch of skin below his neck which wasn’t tattooed, “Yeah. I’m kind of struggling to find something. I don’t really know what I want.” I sigh and glance beside me. Sam and Nero had already decided on designs.  
“We’ll have you seen anything you like?” He asks.  
I nod and flick through the book, pointing out things I liked. Mostly flower and butterfly designs.  
He nods and notes things down, “Where were you thinking?”  
“I don’t know that either.” I blush.  
“I could make a nice sleeve design.” He suggests.  
I chew my lip, that seemed like a lot. But I was in Dauntless now, “Okay.”  
“Alright. Give me...twenty minutes.” He disappears through a door at the back of the studio.  
I go to Coby’s side. A black pad covered a section of her arm, a thick black pipe stuck out of it and went into a laptop. I could see a section of her design on the screen.  
I look over the parts that had already been done. It was very old fashioned looking, with plants and herbs drawn in dull colours along with books and pages with writing on it.  
“It looks amazing.” I grin.  
“Yeah. I can’t wait to see it done.” She grins, “What are you getting?”  
“Um, I don’t actually know yet. One of the artists is drawing something up for me.” I smile slightly.  
“Who?” She asks  
“Uh...blue hair?”  
“Derrik.” Her artist hums, “He's new. Really good, though.”

Twenty minutes later I'm looking over his design and thinking that ‘good' is a massive insult. His design is amazing.  
“What do you think?” He asks sheepishly.  
“I think I want that on my body now and forever.” I say breathlessly.  
He looks delighted, “Alright! Let's get it on you then.”  
I take Sam's vacated seat and pull my shirt off. Sam wanders over, he had a really awesome flaming bird on his stomach and chest, “What you getting, Salem?” He asks.  
“You’ll see.” I tease, “I love yours. What is it?”  
“It’s a Phoenix.” He grins, “A mythological creature. It bursts into flames when it dies then is reborn from the ashes.”  
“Nice. He's pretty. Have you got a name for him?”  
“I'm not naming my tattoo.”

It’s past curfew when we leave the parlour. Despite starting last I was finished before Coby, her design was intricate and took a lot of time. Neither of us could stop looking at our arms, we were so happy with what we had.  
Nero had gone simple and had the Dauntless symbol on the back of his neck, he liked it but he admired our designs enviously.  
“We should get matching tattoos.” Coby grins, having finally torn her gaze away from her tattoo.  
I look away from mine, “Yeah? What were you thinking?”  
I was already itching for my next tattoo.  
“I'm not sure. What do you guys think?” She asks.  
Sam hums thoughtfully, “Something we can all get in the same place.”  
“Something that represents us.” Nero hums.  
We reach my dorm.  
“Think about it tonight, then we can brainstorm at breakfast.” I smile and hug them all.  
They nod and wave goodbye as they make their way down the hall.  
Everyone stares when I walk in. No one spoke to me, as usual. I change into my night clothes and comb into bed just on time for the lights to go out. I hated conning back here, I wished I could stay with my friends.  
I close my eyes and think back to when we had just left the parlour, when Nero and I were coming up with names for Sam's Phoenix.  
I giggle as I remember his reaction to the name we'd decided on, and let myself fall asleep. 

“I'm not calling my tattoo Robert!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an image of the sleeve Salem has. I found it on Pinterest. 
> 
> https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.pinterest.com/amp/pin/449515606547887791/?source=images
> 
> Also if you have any suggestions for a matching tattoo for them then I'd love to see them!


	6. Hot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eric returns and things between him and Salem HEAT up.

Eric had returned after almost a week. I was almost disappointed when I'd walked in the gym and seen him instead of Tori, we’d made some real progress and she was really happy with the level I was at.  
His eyes narrow as he spots the design down my left arm, “What is that?”  
“A tattoo.” I hum and sit on the mat with my legs stretched out in front of me.  
“No shit.” He moves closer to get a better look as I stretch, “Are those flowers? And butterflies?” He sounds disgusted.  
“Nothing gets past you.” I hum.  
“Watch your attitude, initiate!” He snaps, “I’m not one of your friends. I’m your trainer and your leader. You’ll show me respect or you’ll be factionless!”  
I clamp my mouth shut. No joking around with Eric. Memo received, “I’m sorry.”  
He shakes his head, “Apology noted, initiate. Now tell me what you've done with Tori.”  
While I finish stretching I tell him what we’ve done. Aside from the combat training we’d also done knife throwing and some knife combat and more fun work.  
He looks surprised as I straightened up.  
"You've covered that in barely a week? Did you ever take a break?”  
“A break?” I tilt my head, “What’s that?”  
“Funny. Right. Let's see what you can do. Knives and gun first then you can fight me after lunch.” His mind seems to be a million miles away as he talks, “Then you’ll be going back to Four's class on Monday.”  
I chew my lip and nod, “Okay. I didn’t think I’d be going back at this point. Isn’t the final ranking on Thursday?”  
“It is. But you still need to be ranked with your class. Four is supposed to be doing this, he needs to actually see how you’re doing to rank you.”  
I nod, “Okay. Let's get to it.”

Eric seems impressed with everything I’ve done, although he doesn’t say anything. I hit the centre of the targets with the blades and the bullets, Eric takes the gun apart and I reassemble it with no issue and place it back in his palm.  
He fires it twice at the target and chuckles, “Four's class is going to be thrilled.” 

After lunch we return to the gym. I sit back down on the mat and start to stretch.  
“What’s this all about?” Eric frowns.  
“Tori made me do it when we started. It’s habit now.” I hum as I lean forward to touch my toes, “It’s nice. Loosens me up.”  
He scoffs and gets on the mat, watching me impatiently.  
I ignore him until I finish and get up, “Okay. I’m ready.”  
“I'm thrilled. Move your ass.” He growls.  
I step up on the mat and get myself in the defensive position Tori taught me.  
He’s a lot faster than I thought he would be. With his bulk I'd expected slow movements but he was fast as hell. His fist catches me in the ribs, it hurt like hell, like falling out a tree. I strike my fist out and ram it into his ear. His eyes glaze over and I lunge forward sweeping my right leg behind his and place my hand over his chest to shove him down but he recovers and grab my shoulder, knocking me to the ground instead.  
“Clever.” He says with a scary smile.  
“I learned from the best.” I smirk and kick him in the groin.  
He groans and doubles over. I grab his arm and yank him down next to me. I swing my leg over and clamp my legs on either side of his neck. His eyes go wide as I squeeze them together.  
He lashes up at me and I hug his arms close to my chest.  
“Say it.” I say softly.  
His face starts to go red and I chew my lip. I didn’t really want to knock my instructor out.  
“Stop.” He breathes.  
I release him immediately and get up off him.  
He gasps and blinks over and over as blood starts rushing back to his brain.  
He sits up after a few minutes, “She’s taught you well. Very well.” He rubs his throat, “Why not the airway?”  
“It’s faster to knock someone out by cutting off the circulation. If I’d kept squeezing you'd have been unconscious quickly.” I stretch my arms.  
He nods, “Alright then.” He stands, “I think that'll do for today.”  
We leave the gym and start walking down to the pit. I hadn’t spent much time there, it was a large area where the bars and clubs were centred. The shops and cafeteria were branched off in another area.   
I keep walking down the corridor, past the turn to the pit.  
“Hey. Where are you going?”   
I turn and frown, “Back to the dorm. I’m just gonna hang out til my friends get off training.”  
“Come with me. We’re going for a drink.” He keeps walking.  
I pause for a second then follow him. I hadn’t been to this area before and I hadn’t ever drank alcohol before. They weren’t big on alcohol in Amity, with all the peace serum that was baked into the bread no one really needed it.  
I follow him to a bar. It was a warm looking place, dark woods and stone. A fire burns in the corner.  
A young woman spots me and opens her mouth, but clamps it shut when she sees Eric.   
“Usual. What do you want?” He turns to me.  
“Um...I don’t know. I haven’t drank before.” I chew my lip.  
His lips turn up in a dark smile.

The drink he orders is fruity and my head starts feeling a little fuzzy before I’m halfway through.  
Eric had gone through two glasses of an amber coloured drink that smells harsh and strong. He hadn’t said much beyond asking if I liked the drink.  
“You’re pretty young to be in leadership. Aren’t you?” I ask.  
“Just depends on when a position becomes available.” He hums.  
“Okay.” I hum and take another sip of my drink.

We don’t speak again until I finish my drink. My head felt a little light and fuzzy, “I’m gonna go. Thanks for this.”   
I stand and stumble a little.  
“Where are you going?” He gets up.  
“Lie down.” I blink to try and get the starts out my eyes. I look up at him..both of him.

I open my eyes again and the bar is gone. I’m in a bedroom with grey stone walls.  
I slowly sit up and rub my eyes. What the hell was I doing here? Where is here?  
I catch a whiff of something spicy and my stomach snarls at me. I get out of bed, slowly getting to my feet. They seemed to be okay taking my weight so I walk out the room. The grey stone continues out to the hall and I realise it’s wallpaper and not real stone.  
“Awake now are you?”  
His voice startles me, “Yes. What happened?”  
“You passed out.” He sounds amused, “After one drink.”  
My cheeks go red, “I did?”  
He nods, “I made dinner. Feel free to have some.” He puts some sort of red sauce on pasta and hands me a bowl.  
I look around for a dining table but there isn’t one so I take a seat at the couch and dig in. The sauce tasted like tomato and death. My mouth burned so much I cough and have to wipe my nose.  
He laughs again, “Can’t handle drink or spicy food?”  
I narrow my eyes and take another forkful. My eyes start watering.

I manage to fight my way through the whole bowl and take it to the kitchen to clean it up. I fill the sink with hot soapy water and put the pots and my bowl in to soak. I jump as his arm reaches past me to add his bowl to the sink.  
“My sauce wasn’t too hot for you was it?” His voice is hot on my neck.  
“I think we both know I can handle your sauce.” I try to sound confident but it comes out breathy.  
“Oh yeah?” I almost whimper as his hot lips touch my neck.  
“Yeah.” To my embarrassment I moan.  
“It’s been too long for you, hasn’t it, Amity?” His hands rest on my hips, grazing the bare skin under my t-shirt.  
“Yes.” It had been far too long. I hadn’t had anything since I’d got here. I wanted it. 

And I wanted it bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. That was a slight tease.  
> Next time. I promise.


	7. Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone.  
> Sorry about missing last week's upload. I'm not going to lie, I just really wasn't in the mood and didn't have the motivation.  
> But I'm back on track now and hopefully I'll be doing my weekly updates!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT ALERT  
> This chapter is ALL smut. If you don't want to read smut then I'd skip this chapter.

I let him lead me back to the bedroom.  
He grabs the hem of my shirt and lifts it over my head, leaving my arms in the long sleeves. He moves them behind my back and nudges the door open. His lips press against mine again, his tongue pushing past mine. He tastes spicy and warm, my whole body stands at attention.  
The back of my knees hit the bed and we tumble back, his arms shoot out and he catches himself before he lands on me. We pause for a second then he drops back down and kisses me again, I try to wrestle my arms free from my shirt but he moves his arms to either side of my shoulders and stops me moving.   
I wrap my legs around his hips and pull him down. His hands move down to the waistband of my leggings and pull them down to my knees. I kick them off, “Unless you want this to be a solo venture you’re gonna have to let me move my arms.”  
“I do?” He hums and kisses my neck, “Who said my clothes needed to come off?”  
He shifts down the bed, leaving small kisses down my chest, stomach, and abdomen. He reaches up underneath me and pulls my panties down and drops them on the floor next to my leggings. He raises an eyebrow.  
My cheeks go a little pink, “What? Never seen a girl that shaves before?” I liked to keep myself clean so I shaved all but a small strip which I kept trimmed.  
“I haven’t, no. Very nice." He kisses the top of the strip and moves down. I close my eyes and lay back as his tongue strokes me. Heat blooms in my abdomen. His tongue works me expertly, quickly picking up on what I liked and what I loved. I can't do anything but moan, my arms restrained by my shirt and my hips by his hands.  
“Eric, please..” My heart flutters as he licks and sucks on my clit. A hot ball of pressure builds between my legs, “Please.”  
He pushes closer to me, his tongue building a quick rhythm of strokes. My spine arches and I whimper softly.   
More.  
More.  
Please!  
He sits up on his knees.  
NO!  
“Eric!” I cry pathetically. I could feel my body pulsing, a small touch in the right place would do it.  
“Who said I’m finished with you?” He peels his shirt off and unfastens his belt.  
“Please..” I beg. I needed it. I needed him.  
He stands at the end of the bed and pushes his jeans and boxers down at a leisurely place. The fire in my abdomen starts to cool.  
I’m seriously considering murder when he climbs onto the bed and kneels between my legs, “I’m sorry.” His fingers touch my abdomen, “Did you want me to keep going?”  
“Fuck you.” I whimper.  
He leans down and kisses my neck, “Is that what you want? Me to fuck you?”  
“Please..” I was almost embarrassed by how desperate I sounded.  
He wraps his arms around me and pulls me up to a sitting position. He frees my arms from my shirt and reaches behind me to release the catch on my bra. The two join the pile of clothes on the floor.   
He sits back, his eyes taking in every inch of me. I take the opportunity to do the same. He's as well built as I thought, his body is all lean muscle and dark ink. The art on his body is incredible. But my attention wanders down to the area I desperately need. He’s thick and long, much bigger than I remember, and a new silver piercing gives me a rush of thrill. How would that feel?  
I look up at his stormy eyes and slowly lay back. I wanted this. I needed this.   
He moves down with me and dips his head down to my chest, first kissing and teasing my nipple with his tongue before taking it into his mouth and sucking.   
“Oh!” I moan and bring my hand up to his hair, grazing my nails over the shaved portion, which earns me a deep moan. He moves against me and I feel his hot length press against me, infuriatingly close to where I need it to be. I feel him guiding himself with his other hand and finally he pushes inside me.   
One hand grabs his short hair and the other the sheets. I moan and whimper as I stretch around him, my legs wrap around his hips and pull him closer, unsatisfied at the slow speed he's going.   
We both stop as I take in the last of him. Adjusting and getting used to each other. He looks down at me, something flickers in his eyes I can't read. I gently clench myself around him and his eyes close. He leans down again and kisses me with an unexpected gentleness. I return the kiss, our lips moving slowly together. He starts to slide out of me and pushes back in. I move with him, matching his slow pace as we kiss and explore each other’s bodies. My hands move over the hard muscle of his arms and chest, following the lines of the ink in his skin. My nails drag lightly down his back and I feel the muscles flex.   
His hands move over my skin, up my sides and down my back. Folding the notches of my spine before tracing the curve on my hips and moving up again to palm my breasts. His hands are hot and slightly rough, he rubs his thumb over my breasts, rolling my nipples and bringing them to a peak. He squeezes them gently between his thumb and forefingers. A jolt of pleasure runs through me and I clench around him, “Yes..” I breathe.   
He smirks against my lips and pushes himself inside me as he pinches my nipples again, earning him a loud moan. His hands begin to wander again as we move together.  
My hand moves back up to his hair and tugs sharply, I wanted more. He wraps an arm around my hips and sits back on his knees, holding me to him. He moves forward and my back presses against the cold, hard wood of his headboard. A shiver runs through me.  
He moves his hips faster, almost pulling out and burying himself to the hilt with every thrust. My breasts press against his chest and I claim his lips, pushing my tongue past his lips and exploring his mouth. He keeps an arm around my waist and tangles the other hand in my strawberry blonde curls. As we move together the fire reignites in my belly, making me feel hot and tight.   
Something between us changes. He pulls me closer to him and breaks the kiss, breathing heavily and driving his hips up hard. I move my lips to his neck, sucking and biting in various places until I find a spot on his jaw that makes him curse and grab my breast. He squeezes roughly, growling as I stop sucking to whimper in pleasure.   
He pulls out of me, “Turn around.”  
I turn quickly and grab the top of the head board as he grabs my hips and shoves himself back inside me. He hammers into me, moaning against my neck and biting the crook of my neck making me cry out in pleasure.  
One of his hands moves around and he rubs two fingers over my clit.   
I cry his name and grip the headboard tight, meeting his frantic thrusts.  
“Yes, Eric, yes!” I cry as he hits that one spot that threatens to undo me.  
He growls and sucks and bites my neck, slamming into me over and over. My whole world melts down to that spot I desperately need him to hit.  
“Fuck. Yes! Please! Eric! Please!”   
His name comes out as a mangled scream as the heat in my stomach bursts and tears through my body, igniting every inch of me with burning pleasure. I feel high, light as a feather. I vaguely hear him cry my name and feel his hips buck against me as he finds his release.  
We stay floating in our own little piece of heaven for a few moments, breathing heavily as the rush of pleasure starts to wane.  
I’m the first to collapse forward, my hands slide off the headboard. He pulls out and we lay facing each other. Neither of us really know what to say, so we just lay in silence as our hammering hearts gradually slow.  
I close my eyes, my body demanding sleep and rest. But I open them a few minutes later.  
“I should go..” I doubted I should be here. And I couldn’t imagine what we just did was okay.  
“It’s past curfew. You’ll get in trouble if you leave now. You can stay and leave in the morning.” His tone gives nothing away, did he want me to stay so I wouldn’t get into trouble? Was that his only reason?  
But before I can question him further he turns around.  
“Okay.” I say quietly and turn around too, closing my eyes.  
We would have to talk about this at some point. But clearly it wouldn’t be tonight.


	8. Physical

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final day of physical training!  
> Time to get physical!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. I missed last week. I suck.  
> I'll do better, I promise.

“Sam!” I hiss quietly, “I have to go.”  
His arm wraps around my chest and he kisses my jaw, “Says who?” He hooks his leg around mine and pulls me closer to him.  
“Says me. Lauren will kick my ass if she catches me in here again.” I try to wiggle out, but only manage to rub my ass against him.  
“I’ll defend you.” He kisses down to my neck.  
“Sam!” His name comes out more breathy than I’d hoped, “I have to go!”  
“What if I’m not done?” He asks, his voice deep and suggestive.  
“You’ve got two hands.” I get myself out from under him, “Besides, I don’t see how you could possibly not be done.” I climb off his bed and pull my underwear on, “You literally covered all bases.”  
I didn’t have to see his face to know he was smirking, “I thought you liked it.”  
“I do. But I also like not getting hauled in front of Four and Eric.” Not that Eric could really say anything. Between him and Sam I barely slept in my dorm.  
I pull my cropped t-shirt on and shove my boots on. I couldn’t see my hand in front of my face and I had no idea which piece of black material was my hoodie and which was my leggings.  
“See you at training.”  
I grunt in response and slip out the Dauntless born dorm. The dorms were close and hardly anyone came down here so I'd be okay. I take two steps and a guard comes around the corner. He stops and looks me over. I pause for a second.  
“Good morning.” I smile and keep walking, pretending I’m not walking down the corridor in a black t-shirt, black boots, and baby pink lace underwear.  
“Morning..” He says slowly.  
I go into the dorm, everyone is asleep as always. I strip off and dump my clothes from the day before in my laundry box and grope around in the overstuffed chest under my bed.  
I skip my morning shower and run to the east entrance where I find Nolan waiting patiently for me, “Overslept?” He looks amused.  
“Something like that.” I grumble.  
“Eric keeping you busy?” He asks, his face a picture of innocence. Apparently his best friend worked in the control room and caught me sneaking out of Eric’s apartment on the cameras and kindly passed it on to him.  
“I wasn’t at Eric’s.” I smack his arm, “And shut up. I don’t need the whole faction knowing.” For obvious reasons Eric and I kept our little...evenings to ourselves.  
He laughs as we start running, “Does Eric know you’re doing someone else? He doesn’t strike me as someone who likes to share.”  
“It’s none of his business. We’re not together. We just...have sex.” I shrug.  
“If you say so.” He smiles smugly.  
“I do say so.”  
We run for a while in silence, we were trying out a new route and we had to pay attention to where we were going so we didn’t get lost. Again.  
“So how’s training going?” He asks.  
“Good. I’m top of the class, Sam and Nero are real salty about it.” I say cheerfully.  
“And how’s your other friend doing? Coby?”  
“She’s doing better. Her fighting and knife throwing have really improved, and she’s amazing with a gun so that’s really boosted her points. It also helps that my class are spectacularly hopeless. Eric was saying they’re really reluctant to let most of them through despite being above the cut off point.” I hum.  
“Really? That’s what you two talk about?” He asks as he takes a drink of water.  
“Well we don’t tend to discuss how big his dick is.” I hum.  
He chokes and sprays his water.  
“Thanks.” I grumble and wipe myself down with the sleeve on my jacket, “He doesn’t tell me anything about points or ranks. He mostly just complains about how shitty my class are.”  
“Fair enough. Sorry about that.” He wipes his mouth.  
“You’re forgiven.” We stop for a moment, “I can’t believe it’s our last day of training today. I keep trying to bug Eric into telling me what were doing next but he says it’ll be a nice surprise. What a sadist.” I take a seat on a smooth rock.  
“He’s not allowed to tell you. But I’m sure you’ll be fine.” He hums and stretches his legs, “Got any fights today?’  
I nod, “Sam. He’s second. He thinks he can beat me and take my spot.” I smirk, “But I have my secret weapon.”  
“Oh yeah? And what would that be?”  
I stand and smile, “Now where would the fun in that be?” I ask before I start jogging.

I stand beside Coby and watch her throw knives at the targets, her eyes glancing to the side occasionally to look at the board. Normally names would be moving up and down but so far the board remained still, the fights had gone as expected with no major upsets. But I did see Lauren and Four occasionally glance to Sam and I, maybe they thought he would knock me off top spot too. I’d sparred with him before, not for points, just for fun. He was strong. And quicker than he had any right to be, but I was faster and more flexible. And my fighting style used an opponents strength and weight against them. But it was still anyone’s fight.  
“Nervous?” Coby asks.  
“Hmm?” I look back at her, I hadn't realised I'd been watching Sam as he jabbed a bag.  
“About fighting Sam.”  
I shake my head, “Worst that can happen is I move down a spot. Besides, I'm as curious as everyone else about how this will go.” I wanted to win, but so did he.  
“Sam and Salem!” Four calls, “On the mat!”  
Everyone stopped and looked at us.  
I nod and walk over, chalking up my hands before stepping on the mat. Sam stood in front of me.  
Neither of us would hold back, we both wanted the top spot.  
We bump knuckles and step back. I raise my arms in a defensive position. I had no idea what he'd do first, I’d seen him lunge in and go on the attack immediately and I'd seen him play defensive. I preferred to go defensive until my opponent got close then take them down. But he knew that and he wouldn't play into it. He was too smart for that.  
“Go!” Eric calls. It startles me to hear his voice and I lose focus for a second. Just a second but it’s enough.  
Sam moves forward and strikes at my ribs, the hit lands, there's nothing I can do to stop it. Pain floods my side. I swing at his head and he blocks with his forearm. He grabs my arm and tosses me on the mat, my head bounces and I see pretty stars for a moment. I try to get up but he sits on top of me and pins my arms at my sides. Damn it!  
He smirks down at me, “Say it.”  
I glare at him. I would NOT give up.  
I smile sweetly, “Say what?” I shift my shoulders a little, glad the cups weren't too tight on this bra.  
I see him glance down and his gaze get stuck on my chest, my breasts were half out my bra.  
While he's distracted by the goods I buck my hips up, he falls forward and releases my arms to stop him falling face first onto the mat. I smirk and give him a quick kiss before ramming my head into his nose. I pull my knees up to my chest and kick him off me.  
He falls on his back and I roll with him and clamp my thighs at either side of his face, pinning his arms down with my shins “Hmmm....I do like this position.”  
His nose is bright red and his face soon catches up. He tries to kick his legs up but I'm too far up his chest. I can see the moment when he realises it's over but that stubbornness doesn’t fade.  
He falls unconscious after a few more moments.  
I get up and fix my chest, “Nero? Help me get him to the infirmary.”  
Nero jogs up and we lift him between us. As we pass the instructors I see a meld of pride and fury on Eric's face.

Why did I have a feeling I was in deep shit?


	9. Celebrations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fab 4 celebrate passing the first stage of training!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. I'm an ass. It's been like 4 weeks.  
> I've been super busy with moving house and work and having no damn internet.
> 
> I'm going to TRY updating weekly but realistically it's probably going to be fortnightly.

Sam was discharged just in time for us to make it down to the pit to see them reveal the rankings. I was top, then Sam, Nero was a few more down and Coby a few under him. We were all through to the next stage of training.  
“Congratulations to all of you who have passed this stage.” Max booms from one of the ledges that ringed the pit, “And to those who haven’t, your time is done here.”  
I look to the rankings again, none of the Dauntless born were at the bottom.  
“Tonight you celebrate, the weekend is yours. Monday you begin the next stage of training.” He waves a hand dismissively.  
The music turns up as cheers echo through the cavern. We’d done it, we were still here.  
Sam beelines to the nearest bar with Nero. Coby and I join them an hour later.  
“Where the hell have you been!” Nero demands.  
“We got changed.” I smile sweetly. Our training gear had been swapped for short shorts and cut off tops. Coby had insisted on putting make up on me too and I couldn’t say no. She was so happy.  
“Looking good.” I see a hungry look in Sam's eyes as he looks us over, “Drinks.”  
Sam orders us something fruity tasting. It’s a little sweeter than what Eric had ordered me and doesn’t burn on the way down. He says it’s a fruity cider.   
“It's good!” I grin and drink some more.  
And some more.  
And some more.  
I’m about to order my fifth when everyone decides we're going to go and dance. I stumble a little and lean on Nero as we leave the bar, “Think I drank a lot.” I giggle.  
“I think you did too.” He laughs as we walk out together, his arm wrapped around my waist to keep me upright.  
We find Sam and Coby on the dancefloor, Sam’s shirt had mysteriously disappeared. Nero passed me over to him.  
Sam looks amused, “Did you drink too much Salem?”  
“Mmhmm.” I hum cheerily with a big grin, “Dance with me.” I wrap my arms around his neck and move with the music.  
His arm snakes around my waist and pulls me closer to him, he felt hot and my cheeks burned red. The music was loud and fast, and we moved together. His lips pressed against my neck, I tilted my head and stretched against him. His hands travel down to my ass.  
I glance up at him, his lips are turned up in a smirk but he’s not looking at me, he’s looking up at something or someone.  
I turn my head to follow his gaze but his hand catches my chin and turns my head back to face him, his lips crash into mine. I grind against him and part my lips to allow his tongue entrance. One hand cups the back of my head and the other dips under my shorts at my hips.  
Heat rushes over my body, I move my hand down to the front of his training sweats and rub his hard shaft. I hear a soft growl and comb my fingers into his hair and give it a sharp tug.  
He pulls away, his eyes dark and hungry, “Let’s go.”  
I nod frantically and let him drag me away from the pit. 

My back slams against a wooden door, both my hands tangled in Sam’s hair.  
His hand reaches past me and opens the door, we stumble back and I hit a metal rack. He slams the door shut and his hands fiddle with the button on my shorts.   
Our clothes pile up next to a large container of cleaning solution. We stand naked, my back to the door we’d come in. His hands wander over my body, palming my breasts, pinching my nipples and stroking my clit. My hand travels down his back and I grasp his shaft and pump him.  
He grabs my ass and pulls me up, I guide him inside me and whimper softly as he thrusts inside me.  
I grab his shoulders and wrap my legs around him. He holds me close to him and kisses and nibbles my neck. My head spins and all I can do is moan and gasp as he thrusts into me over and over. I dig my heels into his ass and clench myself around him. My forehead rests on his shoulder.  
“Oh Sam...” I moan softly and tug his hair hard. His breath is hot and heavy in my ear. I feel hot kisses on my neck and collarbone, my nipples feel tight and sparks of pleasure send shivers down my spine as they brush against his chest.  
My heart pounds in my chest and I capture his lips with mine and poke his lips with my tongue. He smirks and his tongue darts into my mouth, pinning mine as he explores my mouth. He tasted slightly bitter, like that drink he’d made me try, but his tongue was hot and dominating and that was all I needed.  
His hips moved at a frantic pace, I couldn’t keep up anymore as my abdomen burned and pulsed with every beat of my heart. I could almost taste the release and I knew it wouldn't be long for him either, his thick shaft pulsed as he pounded me over and over. His head hit that prefect little spot and pleasure shot through me like lightning, bursting the dam of pressure that had been building and building. My whole body burned up and his name came out in a strangled scream.  
I heard my name escape his lips in a moan as his hips started to slow. My legs slipped but he held me firmly. I rest my forehead against his chest and pant heavily, breathing in his delicious scent. I didn't want to move but at some point someone would come here to start cleaning up the pit.   
When we both had come back to ourselves we pulled our clothes back on.   
“Go ahead.” I tell him as I look at myself in a reflective canister, “I’ll be right with you.”  
He smirks and slips out.   
I sigh as I try to sort my hair. I needed to sort my life, at some point I would have to stop sleeping with one of them. Eric knew about Sam but Sam didn't know about Eric, and neither of them seemed the type to share. And technically I shouldn't have been sleeping with either of them. Four had warned me that relationships, or sleeping with other initiates, wasn’t encouraged. It wasn’t forbidden, per se, but they took a dim view of it.  
I snort. I wonder how they’d feel about an initiate and an instructor sleeping together. I bet that would go down like a lead balloon.  
I sigh and finish with my hair. There was no saving the make up now, if it could be saved then Coby would know what to do. I was hopeless.  
I open the door and squeal in fright as I see Eric standing right outside the room. He doesn’t look amused. At all.  
He steps in and shuts the door behind him.  
“Uh. Hi?” I smile.  
He looks me over and I follow his gaze. My shirt was inside out and I hadn’t buttoned up my shorts. And my boots were on the wrong feet.  
Awesome.  
“Initiate.” He drawls.  
“Eric.” I say with a faux cheeriness. Please don’t kill me. Or Sam.  
“What are you doing in here?” He asks casually and reaches out to twirl a strawberry blonde curl around his finger.  
“Just...chilling.” I grimace as he tugs the hair.  
“Chilling? Do you usually scream your friend's name when you’re...chilling?” A dark edge creeps in to his voice.  
My cheeks heat up.  
“Well?”  
“There’s no rules against me having sex.” I blurt out. I help as he pulls the hair hard.  
“Did I say there was?” He moves closer and puts his hand on my shoulder, gently pushing me down.  
I look up at him, “No.”  
He hums and holds my chin, “Now this is familiar.”  
I glance around. I’d fucked Sam in the same cupboard I'd blown Eric in.  
Double awesome.  
He smirks and parts my lips, “I think it’s time for a little fun.”

It’s almost afternoon when I wake in Eric’s room. After our recreation in the cleaning cupboard I’d gone back to the party for a few more hours before coming back with Eric and continuing the party here.  
I roll out of bed and start yanking my clothes on, cursing under my breath. Eric was still passed out in the bed and didn’t stir as I quickly escape the room. All I could do was pray that no one saw me leaving Eric’s apartment. I could still cry idiot if I got caught on the floor and say I was lost.  
I stomp my boots on and yank the door open. My heart jumps to my throat.  
Max stands with his hand raised. His eyes wide.  
I open my mouth and shut it again.  
“Good morning, initiate.” He says coldly.

Shit.


	10. Consequences. Kind of.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What dreadful punishment will Salem get for doing the do with a faction leader?  
> And who is the mysterious man? And why does he affect Salem so badly?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's late again. We're all just gonna have to agree that I'm a bad person with no sense of time. Okay? Okay.
> 
> !!!!!WARNING!!!!!
> 
> In the NEXT chapter we'll be dealing with some sensitive material. There will be discussion of the rape of a minor.  
> I will be writing the chapter from Eric's POV and there won't be any graphic details but it will be discussed.  
> So if you are not comfortable with that then please DO NOT read the next chapter. I will post another warning before it happens if you want to read the start of the chapter and I will post a summary of the whole chapter in the end notes of the chapter and the beginning notes of the next chapter (chapter 12)

Coby's mouth hung open, giving me a view of her bacon and eggs that I would never be able to unsee.  
“Yup.” I stab my sausage with my fork again.  
She swallows her food, “He just let you go?”  
I nod, “I told him I was just leaving. And he told me that was a good idea. So I ran outta there like my ass was on fire.” Stab.  
“Fuck. Shit.”  
“All of the above.” Stab.  
“I'm amazed you’re still here.” She hums and shoves more food in her mouth.  
“Right? I was so sure they’d kick me out.” I finally take a bite of my sausage, “Also, not a word to Sam or Nero.”  
“No shit.” She says through a mouthful of food, “Gonna tell your mom?”  
I grimace. Today was visiting day, “Are you kidding? She’d be....no.”  
I jump when someone taps my shoulder, my heart sinks, “Hi Four..”  
“Come with me. Max wants to see you.” His face gives nothing away.  
I leave my barely touched plate and follow him up to the leaders offices. He didn’t say a word to me the whole way there.  
I glance around as we walk to Max's office. I see Eric’s name on an open door, his office is organised to within an inch of his life but he isn’t there.  
As I look ahead again I catch a glimpse of a grey haired man disappearing into an office and shutting the door. I only got the briefest glimpse at his face but it makes my heart pound.  
No. It’s not him. He had dark hair. It was a long time ago. I couldn’t remember his face.  
“Hey? Salem?”  
I look up, Four was holding a door open. Max waited at his desk.  
I take a seat opposite him. Four closes the door and sits beside me, uninvited if Max's expression was anything to go by. There was silence for a moment.

Was I getting kicked out?

Was it him? It looked like him.

Oh god. I’d be factionless.

How could I know it was him. I barely saw him.

I’d never see my family again.

After what he did....I'd remember that face forever.

“- and if it was up to me you’d be factionless right now.” Max snaps.  
His words yank me out my downward spiral, “You’re not kicking me out?”  
“No.” He grinds out. He’d been overruled? Who had the power to do that? Eric was a leader along with several other but I’d got the impression that Max held the most power.   
“This is your last chance.” He turns away from me, “Leave.”  
I stand, “Thank you.”  
He says nothing.  
I follow Four out.  
“You’re very lucky. I’ve seen initiates get kicked out for way less.” Four says quietly, “But Eric may not be able to protect you a second time.”  
I look up at him. It was Eric. How? How did he pull that off?  
He must have known what was going through my head, “There are...things you don’t know about. Things about Eric. Things about...” His mouth clamps shut as the office next to us opens.  
I glance to the side.  
My heart stops.   
“Can I help you?” The man asks in a deep voice. Adrenaline floods my system.

RUN! My instincts scream at me to flee. But I remain rooted to the spot.

“No. Sorry.” Four grabs my arm and drags me along.

Oh god.  
It was him.  
He was here.  
He was a leader.  
He...

“Salem. In my office.” Eric stands in his office doorway.  
“is that really a good idea?” Four growls, “She almost got kicked out for associating with you.”  
“I’m not asking.”  
The men glare at each other. I just wanted to leave. To start running and never stop until I wad half a world away from...him.  
I choke out a sob and tears start streaming down my face, startling them both.  
Eric grabs my arm and pulls me into his office, shutting the door in Four's face.  
“Hey. What's going on?” He frowns, apparently completely baffled by my emotional outburst.  
I cover my face. I was never going to get away from him.   
Eric's strong arms wrap around me, “I won’t let them kick you out. You have nothing to worry about.”  
He had no idea. I bury my face in his chest and sob.  
He stiffens, “Please tell me you’re not pregnant.”  
I shake my head and tap my arm. He nods and holds me close. From the moment you start puberty until after initiation into your chosen faction women were supposed to get monthly injections to stop us getting pregnant. My mother was one of the rare ones who didn’t, she'd had my eldest brother at 16. Because she loved my dad and they had decided they were going to start a family.   
“Something else is wrong. What is it?” He asks.  
I couldn’t tell him. He’d never believe me. How could he believe that one of his fellow faction leaders was..  
I shake my head and step away, “It’s nothing.” I breathe deeply and wipe my eyes.  
He doesn’t look impressed, “I realise that I haven’t known you for that long but I think hysterical sobbing is a bit of a giveaway.”  
“I have to go. My mom will be here.” I was past him to the door.  
He grabs my arm and our eyes meet. He searches my eyes and lets go, “I’ll find out.”  
I leave his office and go down to the pit. He wouldn't find out. Only two of us knew what happened and neither of us were likely to tell.

The pit was quieter today than I’d ever seen it, only initiates and a few families occupied the space. A few sat around the edges, their families weren’t there.  
My stomach twisted as I look around, what if they hadn’t come?  
“Orchid!” I turn towards the familiar voice.  
“Mom!” I cry happily and run over to her, wrapping my arms tight around her.  
“Look at you!” She holds me close, “You look so beautiful!”  
My cheeks flush, I wore a fitted red tank top and black jeans with black lace tights and black boots, “I missed you momma. How have you been?”  
“I missed you too, sweetheart.” She smiles and holds me at arms length, “You look so strong.”  
“I’m top of the class.” I smile, my cheeks go red again.  
Her eyes shine with pride, “I knew you’d do well here. Your father and I always knew you were Dauntless. He’d be so proud of you.”  
Tears spring to my eyes, “He would?”  
She nods, “We knew Amity wasn’t for you. You just had this...spark. He always worried you would chose to stay and end up regretting it.”  
Dad wanted me to chose Dauntless? Relief floods me, I needed that. Confirmation I was in the right place.  
“Anyway. I want to know about you! Have you made any friends?” She asks.  
After she spends a moment admiring my tattoo I introduce her to Sam, Nero, and Coby. They introduce us to their parents and we all grab some food and drink together.   
None of us can hide our disappointment when it's time for our parents to leave. My mom gives me one more tight hug, tells me she loves me, and leaves.  
Suddenly I feel very alone. I watch her leave, my chest aching. I missed them all so much. My mom, my brothers and sisters. My friends in Amity.  
I almost jump when a hand touches my shoulder.  
Nero smiles to me, “Come on. Coby and Sam want to get new tattoos.”  
I smile and nod, “Okay. Let’s go!”  
I wasn’t alone.  
We all decided to get matching infinity symbols on the ring fingers of our right hands. I booked in to get another flower design on my feet then we went for dinner.

By the time I returned to the dorm I’d almost forgotten about the events of the morning and fell into an easy sleep. Unfortunately my subconscious had other ideas and I was plagued with nightmares all night. I ended up giving up and going back to the dinner hall and waiting for 9 o’clock so we could begin the next stage of training.   
Whatever it was it couldn’t be worse than the nightmares.

Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!!!WARNING!!!!!
> 
> In the NEXT chapter (chapter 11) we'll be dealing with some sensitive material. There will be discussion of the rape of a minor.  
> I will be writing the chapter from Eric's POV and there won't be any graphic details but it will be discussed.  
> So if you are not comfortable with that then please DO NOT read the next chapter. I will post another warning before it happens if you want to read the start of the chapter and I will post a summary of the whole chapter in the end notes of the chapter and the beginning notes of the next chapter (chapter 12)


	11. Fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written from Eric's point of view.  
> We find out Salem’s hidden trauma.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!!!WARNING!!!!!
> 
> THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS EXPLICIT CONTENT: THE IMPLICATION OF THE RAPE OF A MINOR. PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS CHAPTER IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO THIS MATERIAL.
> 
> No explicit detail. Just an implication. But if you feel this may trigger you please don't read this chapter.  
> There will be a summary of what happened at the end of this chapter and the beginning of the next.

~~~~~Eric POV~~~~~

As soon as she left my office I’d parked my ass in front of my computer and delved into her life. Something was up with her and it had nothing to do with almost getting kicked out of Dauntless. That was the panicked look of someone who wanted to run.  
Something about that rubbed me the wrong way. I didn’t like seeing her like that, I’d never seen her so...afraid. She'd stood up to me from day one, the first jumper. There was no fear in her eyes.  
It couldn’t have been Max, Four had sat in with her and would have cut it off if he’d lost his shit. Max didn’t like being overruled or threatened, especially by me. He didn’t like me to start off with, Jeanine may have put me in leadership but I’d fucking earned it. I worked just as hard as every asshole here on top of hunting for Divergents for Jeanine.  
My requests hadn’t come back until the next morning so I'd spent the rest of the rest of the day thinking up every possible scenario.  
When I'd arrived in my office the next morning I’d put everything together, Salem’s whole life sat in front of me. Her medical history, her psych eval, her schooling, her family. No red flags. A fair amount of broken bones and minor injuries in childhood and adolescence but that wasn’t unusual for Dauntless children. Her psych eval had come back with nothing worrying. If she’d had some sort of childhood trauma then she hid it very well. Her medical had come up clean too, nothing we wouldn’t expect from training and from her history.   
I mean back in my chair. What was it then? What had set her off so badly?   
I bring up surveillance of the cafeteria. She sat with her usual group, three Dauntless born. I narrow my eyes at the dark haired boy. Sam Perez. He had his arm around her and she was all cuddled into him as she picked at her breakfast. It made me want to punch him.  
Salem had assured me that the only person she’d told was Max's niece, Coby. But he knew, and he’d rubbed it in at the party. I could still see that smirk as they grinded against each other.  
They had their trip to the wall in a few days. I hoped he’d enjoy it, he'd be spending a lot of time there. We liked to break the sims weeks up a bit, otherwise most of the initiates ended up traumatised. So they had War Games, the trip to the wall, and the career day.  
I look back at her. She looked ill. Her friends were talking to her but she didn’t seem to be answering. She wasn’t in a good state for the fear simulations, she was going to really struggle..  
Should I warn her..?  
No. Max was already furious, if he thought I’d tipped her off about the sims I’d never hear the end of it. I didn’t like him and he didnt like me, but we had to work together.  
I close her profile and watch her in the canteen. It was so odd seeing her like this, she was usually so animated and full of life.  
I look up as someone knocks on my office door. I close the surveillance, “Come in.” I call.  
Nolan wanders in with a stack of files. Great.  
“Morning.” He drops the files on my desk, “Reports. It’s been quiet, eerily so.”  
I wondered if there was a right amount of trouble. He always seemed to be complaining that it was too busy or too quiet.  
I nod, “Thanks.”  
He gives me a thumbs up and turns to leave.  
“Hold up.”  
He looks back.  
“Did you see Salem this morning?” She always ran with him.  
He shakes his head, “No. I waited for her but she never turned up. First time she’s missed a run.”  
“Right. Thanks.”  
He leaves.  
What the hell was going on?

I didn't enjoy doing fear sims. Contrary to popular belief I didn’t enjoy watching people suffer, but it was a vital part of training. Where we’d really see who was cut out for Dauntless.   
But I couldn’t lie and say I didn’t enjoy watching Sam get his ass kicked by the sim and stumble out the room. My stomach clenched when I realised who was next. We’d gone in reverse order from bottom to top rank.  
“I can handle it myself if you’d rather go.” Four says as he gets the system ready.  
“What?” I look at him.  
“I can put Salem through her sim if you’d rather not be here." He repeats.  
It bugged the shit out of me, “I can handle it, thanks.” I snap.  
He shakes his head, “Go get her then.”  
“I will.” I march to the door and yank it open, “Salem!” I call and step back into the room.  
When she stepped into the room I could see how badly whatever had happened yesterday had affected her. Her skin was pale, her undereyes were dark, and she kept her head down, she wouldn’t even look me in the eye.  
Four opens his mouth to recite his spiel.  
I close the door, “Second part of training. We'll be putting you through a simulation.” I rest my hand on the small of her back and frown when she flinches, “The serum will locate the fear centre in your brain, and you’ll have to face it.” She tenses up as I lead her to the half reclined chair, “You’ll be presented with a scenario.” She lays down and I stick the nodes to her so we can monitor her vitals, “When you complete it, either by removing yourself from the stimulus or calming yourself, you’ll move on to the next one until all are completed.” I lift the loaded syringe, “Ready?”  
I try to ignore the tears in her eyes as she nods. I wipe the spot and inject the serum. Her eyes close quickly. I attach the final node to her temple and join Four at the computer. This was going to suck.

Her first four fears were fairly routine. Rejection, failure, drowning, claustrophobia. She got through them in decent time, slower than Sam and Coby but not by much. A few more sessions in a better mindset and she'd be back on top.   
Her next scenario came up on the screen. Four and I both lean in, there was something odd about this one. It looked....different. Clearer.  
We didn’t see sims from the initiates perspective, usually we were off to the side, a spectator.   
In this scenario she looked young, maybe four or five, her hair was much redder than it is now and her curls tighter. She skipped through the Amity fields, her curls bouncing around her elbows and the knee length yellow dress she wore blew around her with the breeze. She looked bright eyed and happy.   
This was a fear?  
She stops suddenly and bends over, gazing at a patch of brightly coloured flowers. Her heart rate starts to increase as she gathers some of the flowers. A man in a black uniform approaches, facing away from us.  
Four and I glance at each other. That was a Dauntless uniform.   
She looked up at the man, she didn’t look nervous or apprehensive but her heart rate climbed even higher.   
The man said something that we didn’t hear and held his hand out. She answered and took his hand without hesitation. Her heart skipped a beat. My stomach clenched. The pair walked for a while chatting, he asked her why she was gathering flowers. She told him that her mom had a baby in her tummy and she wasn’t well, flowers made her happy.  
Four frowned and leaned closer, “I know that voice..”  
They arrived at the Amity field office and he took her inside. As soon as they entered the commanders sleeping quarters both of us knew what was going to happen.  
“Pull her. Now.” Four snaps.   
Her heart rate was dangerously high.   
I fumble with the anti-serum, as soon as I wipe her neck the computer screams at us.  
Her heart had stopped.  
“Shit!” I inject her quickly and yank a metal rod out of the bed. She drops back until she’s lying flat, the legs jolt up slightly higher. Four slams the emergency button as I start doing chest compressions. She was dead right now. She was dead. Her heart wasn’t beating.  
Four moves to her other side and watches me anxiously, ready to take over when my arms start hurting. This was all we could do until medical help arrived.  
“I saw who it was.” Four sounds ill.  
“Who?” I demand. He was dead, I’d kill him.

An hour later Four and I sat in Max's office. Medical had arrived and taken Salem to the small hospital in Dauntless. Her heart was beating again so they felt no need to transfer her to Erudite, Four had notified her friends and they’d immediately set up camp in her room and dared anyone to move them.  
Four and I wanted to postpone the sims until the doctor cleared her to go back but Max was digging his heels in, he already didn’t like her and this hadn’t helped.  
“It could be weeks!” He snaps.  
“Very likely.” Four nods. For once I was thankful for his calm front. If Max and I had been alone it would've come to blows by now.  
“Why the hell should I? If she can’t even handle a fear sim she’s no good for Dauntless.” He folds his arms over his chest.  
“It was one of her memories. Not a scenario.” I interject, “She was raped as a child.”  
“And she has my sympathy. But I don’t see why I should fuck up an entire program for her.”  
Four slides a disk across the table. Max puts it in his computer.   
His face is impassive until he sees the face of her attacker, “No..” He skips it back and pauses it, “He couldn't have..”  
“She’s eighteen. This was probably 13 or 14 years ago. He was stationed in Amity for three years, during that time.” I clench my fists.  
He leans back in his chair, looking at the face of his oldest friend, “Fuck me.”  
“I don’t think you’re his type.” I mutter darkly.  
“He has a wife. Children. Euan wouldn’t do this.” Max stands.  
“Tell that to the girl who almost died reliving what he did to her!” I snarl, “Wake up, Max! He’s a monster.”  
“We’ve reported him to the council.” Four adds calmly. We both look at him. I'd forgotten he was there, “Jack is on his way. They're going to hold him until his trail. We only told you because we’re hoping to bring him in peacefully. If we arrest him it could get..” He trails off.  
A lot had changed since the war. How society felt about people who touched kids was not one of those things. If we arrested Euan we’d have to tell him what he was charged with. We’d never get him to Candor alive.  
Although considering the penalty for the sexual assault of a minor was death it really wouldn't make a difference. But Salem deserved to watch him getting a bullet in the head.  
Max looks a little nauseous but he nods and stands, “Alright. I’ll meet you there.”  
Before either of us can say anything he leaves the room.  
Four and I take a seat.  
“How sick do you have to be to do something like that?” I grumble in disgust.  
Four shakes his head.  
“How did we not know about this? Someone else based there must have known.” I drum my fingers on the table, “How often does something like that happen? Are our soldiers going around raping people and we don’t know?”  
I catch Four's eyes and we both look away. We both knew of at least one person who had been accused of sexually assaulting a factionless, but they weren’t considered reliable witnesses.  
We were supposed to make people feel safe.  
I stand and call Nolan on Max's phone.

“You want to open a faction wide investigation? Are you nuts?” He asks wide eyed.  
“Possibly.” I admit, “But the factions trust us to keep them safe. If anyone is abusing or has abused that trust then I want to know.”  
“That could take months!’   
“I don’t care. I want a team on it now.” I check my phone again. Still nothing, “And I want everything investigated. I’ll be calling the faction leaders tomorrow.”  
“Euan is going to flip his shit.”  
“Euan is no longer with Dauntless leadership.” I snap.  
He pauses, “What?”  
“He’s being arrested for the rape of a minor.”  
The colour drains from his face, “No shit.”  
I nod, “He's going to Candor to stand trial.”  
“Fuck me. I’ll get right on it.” He turns on his heel and leaves my office.  
I lean back in my chair and sigh. I really didn’t need this, this investigation would be massively time consuming, Jeanine would kill me for starting it when I should be focusing on Divergents.  
She could kiss my ass.  
I glance to the screen and see Jack’s convoy arriving. Max stood waiting for them with Euan.  
I look closer. Euan was sporting a black eye.  
I stand, I best go meet them. Jack would need a lot of notice about the investigation, his truth serums could come in handy. And technically I needed permission from Max but I doubt he’d have any arguments.  
I’m barely out my office door when my phone rings, “Eric.”  
“Salem is awake.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eric investigates Salem’s past but can't figure out what caused her breakdown.  
> He also shows some jealously towards Sam who seems to know about he and Salem’s relationship.  
> Sam and Coby are at the top of the class for Sims, Salem is struggling.  
> She has 4 normal fears. Rejection, Failure, Claustrophobia, and Drowning.  
> Her 5th simulation is a recreation of her past when she was raped by a member of Dauntless who is now a leader and a great friend of Max.  
> Her heart stopped during the Simulation and she is in the Dauntless hospital.  
> Euan was arrested for her rape and Eric is opening a faction wide investigation.


	12. The true meaning of fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fallout begins!

I wake up to a lot of noise.  
Something was beeping in my ear, which was the most present and most irritating. I groan and reach over to try and bat the annoying thing away.  
“Salem?” I hear Coby’s voice and a hand takes mine, but it’s not hers. It’s too rough.  
I drag my eyes open. My head felt fuzzy, “Happened?”  
“Your heart stopped.” Nero's voice cracks.  
My heart skips a beat, the beeping jumps too. My hand is squeezed.  
“It’s alright. You’re okay now.” Sam says softly, “You’re in hospital.”  
“Why?” My mouth feels dry and my voice comes out like a croak.  
Nero grabs some water and puts the straw to my lips. I take a long drink while Coby explains that they didn’t know exactly what had happened. Lauren had just told them that my heart had stopped during my fear simulation and I was in the hospital.  
“Do you remember it?” Sam asks.  
I shake my head, “Last thing I remember is Eric giving me the serum.”  
Annoyance flashes across Sams face.  
My doctor comes in and my friends are shooed out while she pokes and prods me.  
“How do you feel?” She asks as she shines her light in my eyes.  
Like I should have stated asleep a little longer, “Fine. Tired. Hungry.”  
She nods, “I’ll have them bring you some food. Well you seem okay to me, blood pressure and temperature are normal, pulse is strong and steady. We'll keep an eye on you for a couple of days, I’ll speak to your trainer about special arrangements for your sims.”  
I grimace, “Is that necessary?”  
“We were lucky to bring you back. It may not work out as well if it happens again.” She says firmly.  
I feel the blood drain from my face. I knew my heart stopping was bad but I hadn’t realised it had been that close..  
“I’ll let your friends comes back in and send in some food.” She writes something down on my chart and leaves the room.  
I lay back and close my eyes. I had almost died. No. I HAD died and they’d brought me back.  
My friends come back in quietly. I didn’t want to talk, I wanted to deal with this.  
Sam's hand slips back into mine and squeezes. It was reassuring, they were still here.  
I must have fallen asleep again because the next thing I registered Sam was arguing with someone. Loudly.  
“She needs to rest. She doesn’t need you lot harassing her.” He snaps.  
“I’m not asking, initiate.” Eric says darkly, “We need to speak to her. And you need to leave.”  
“You gonna make me?” Oh Sam, you idiot.  
The room goes deathly silent.  
“Sam. Let’s go.” Coby says quietly.  
“We can come back after.” Nero adds, there's a strain in his voice and I suspect he’s holding Sam back.  
“It’s okay.” I croak and drag my eyes open, “Go get food. Bring some back for me.”  
My eyes focus, Sam looked outraged.  
Eric stood in front of him, Four and a man I didn’t recognise stood at either side of Eric.  
“Are you sure?” Sam asks, “You don’t have to.”  
“I'm sure.”  
He doesn’t look convinced but lets Nero drag him out the room.  
The man I don't recognise takes a seat beside me, Eric and Four take a seat.  
“You know who I am?” The man asks.   
I shake my head the black and white clothes pointed to Candor but aside from that I had no idea.  
He looks amused, “My name is Jack Kang. I'm the leader of Candor.”  
My cheeks flush. I should know that.  
“Sorry.”  
“It’s quite alright. As you can imagine, I appreciate your honesty.”  
“Do you remember what happened?” Four asks.  
I shake my head, “I don’t. The last thing I remember is Eric giving me the serum.”  
Jack nods, “Understandable. Eric told me you had an...incident yesterday.”  
I feel myself tense up and my heart beats a little faster. Eric's eyes flicker to the heart monitor. I grimace. Right there won't be any lying in this interrogation.  
“It was nothing.”  
“I don't think many people would agree that being sexually assaulted is nothing.” Jack says softly.  
I flinch. They knew. Was that what this was about? They didn’t want it getting out that a Dauntless leader was a paedophile?   
“I won’t say anything.” I say quickly, “No one knows. I haven’t told anyone and I won’t.”  
Suddenly they all look uncomfortable.  
“That's not what we want, Salem.” Eric says after a long silence, “We’ve already arrested him. What he did to you was in your fear simulation. That’s why your heart stopped.”  
My heart stutters. Oh god. I’d relived it...and Eric and Four had seen it..  
“How old were you?” Jack asks.  
“I was four. A few weeks off turning five.” My voice shakes and it makes me furious.  
Their faces are perfectly neutral, but their disgust is evident in their eyes.  
“Can you tell me what happened?” Jack asks.  
In excruciating detail. There was nothing about that day I didn’t remember.  
“I was out playing with my friends, my mom was pregnant with my little brother but she got really ill. I was on my way home and I saw some tulips, they’re her favourite so I picked some. He came...He asked me to go with him. My mom told me that Dauntless soldiers were there to protect us, and I should do as they tell me.” I almost laugh. If only she’d known, “He talked to me. Asking me why I was picking flowers. Was I excited to have another little brother...” I fight back a shudder, “He took me to the field office..” My voice started shaking.  
I almost jump when Jack places his hand on mine and offers me a handkerchief. I take it and wipe my eyes.  
“Thank you, Salem.” He smiles a little, “I'll do everything in my power to keep you from having to testify.”  
“Thank you.” My voice cracks. I can’t look at Four or Eric, they must think I’m so weak.  
“Did you tell anyone?” Four asks, “Your parents? A sibling?”  
I shake my head, “No. I didn’t tell anyone. He....He told me I shouldn't have been picking those flowers, it was bad. I didn’t want to get into trouble. By the time I figured out what he'd actually done it was years later and I didn’t think anyone would believe me. I'd seen what had happened when other girls told someone what happened, even when they'd had babies, no one believed them.”  
Eric looked furious, “Does that happen often?”  
“I only know about the times it was reported to Johanna. She and my mom are best friends, she would complain about how Dauntless Soldiers used Amity like a brothel and no one would do anything about it. It almost made me ashamed to chose here. But I figured change has got to come from the inside.”  
Eric clenches his fist and his knuckles crack, “Excuse me.” He leaves the room.  
Four and Jack glance at each other.  
“You guys didn’t know about that?” I ask.  
“The man who did that to you was in charge of factional security.” Jack says in a defeated tone.   
“Oh...”  
Four smiles a little, “Would you like us to tell your mother you’re here?”  
I open my mouth and clamp it shut, “Yes. She should find out from me.”  
My friends appear at the door, their arms filled with food.  
Jack stands, “I may have other questions. Would it be okay for me to contact you?”  
“Yes. Thank you.”  
“Thank you.”  
He and Four leave and my friends pile in. I was immeasurably grateful when they didn’t ask me what had happened.

Mom doesn’t say anything at first. She just sits in silence, her eyes wide.  
It had been a couple of days, I was allowed to go tomorrow and rejoin my class. Mom had been in a panic when she arrived, fussing over me and demanding to speak to my doctor to make sure they were treating me properly. She hadn’t had peace serum today.  
I finally managed to reassure her that I was okay, my heart was fine, the tests had all come back clear. But I did have something to tell her.   
To her credit, she didn't try to interrupt me or stop me from talking. She sat and listened. I tried to hold the tears back but talking about it was no easier now than it had been with Jack. Her hand slipped into mine and squeezed.  
“When did this happen?” She asks finally.  
“When you were pregnant with Hunter..” I sniff and wipe my eyes.  
The old pain flashes in her eyes. My mom had only lost two children, Hunter, who had died before he was born, and Sunny, who died when she was two weeks old.   
“Why didn’t you tell someone? Your dad? Johanna?”  
“He told me I shouldn’t have been picking those flowers....I didn’t want to get into trouble..”  
“Oh sweetheart..” She gets up and wraps her arms around me. I nuzzle into her chest. She smelled like mom and Amity. A soft sweet scent of the peace serum, flowers, earth, and home baking.   
My eyes tear up again. I missed her, I missed my brothers and sisters, I missed home. I missed dad.  
“My brave girl. I'm so sorry you went through this alone.” She sniffs, “Who was it?”  
“One of the Dauntless leaders.”  
She pulls back and I see the fear in her eyes.  
“He’s already been arrested and charged.” I manage a small smile, “Jack said he'll try and make sure I won't have to testify.”  
“Well that’s good. You don’t need to go through that again.”  
I grimace, “I might have to. We do fear simulations as part of our initiation, to prove we can overcome our fears. It was in my simulation, that’s how they found out.”  
She looks horrified, “Then you can’t do the simulations. They’ll just have to exempt you.”  
“I don’t think that’s an option, mom. It’s part of training, I have to do it. They said they'll make adjustments for me.” I grimace. I couldn’t imagine what they could do. Unless the plan was to pull me out as soon as that came up, but that would hardly be fair.  
“They had better. If I get another message saying my daughter is in hospital because her heart stopped whoever is running those simulations will find out the true meaning of fear.”  
I stare at her.   
She definitely didn’t have her peace serum today.


	13. The aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We learn the aftermath of Eric's decision to investigate Dauntless.
> 
> Eric tries to involve Salem but she's not sure it's as good an idea as he thinks.
> 
> Salem has questions about Caesar.

I was released from the hospital early in the morning, the doctor told me to talk to Four about my simulations and how they planned on stopping a repeat performance. He also advised me that word was officially out about Euan and what he’d done to be, so I could probably expect a lot of attention.

Great.

I left the hospital and headed down to the canteen, my friends wouldn't be there yet, it was far too early. But I was starving and there was only so much one could take of hospital food. 

 

People stared as I walked through the halls. Most weren’t even subtle about it, a few stopped and openly stared at me. I walked past them and pretended not to notice.

It made me feel incredibly uncomfortable but there was no point in making a fuss about it, it wouldn’t help anyone.

 

There weren’t many people in the canteen but every single one of them stopped what they were doing to turn and look at me. Awesome.

I walked up to the serving area and picked up a plate. What did I want to eat? Something filling. I glance over the menu, Spanish omelette. Perfect. I move over to the window and order the food. The guy gives me a weird look but I ignore it. I just wanted my food.  
I look around the canteen, most people had gone back to their food and had quiet conversations. I chew on my lip, I shouldn’t have come here alone. I should have gone to the dorm or something until my friends were awake.

I’m about to turn and leave when the guy gives me my omelette.

“Thanks.” I mumble. I could still leave..

“That was a brave thing you did.” He tells me.

I look up, “What?”

“Standing up. Talking about what happened. I hear about too many people who get away with shit they shouldn’t. A lot of people are going to feel a lot safer because of what you did.”

“I...thank you.” I take a seat at an empty table. Was Euan that bad? No, he said too many people. Oh god.

A tall man sits at the table directly across from me, “You better watch yourself initiate.” He says quietly.

“What?”

“A lot of good people are getting kicked out because of you. You need to learn to keep your mouth shut.” He smirks, “Your legs too.”

My fist connected with his nose at the same time Caesar’s hit his jaw. He tumbled back off the bench his head narrowly missing the one behind.

“You got a problem Brunner?” Caesar asked, “Your rapist buddies finally getting what’s coming to them?”

Brunner surges to his feet, blood dripping from his nose, “They did nothing! Those bitches lied!”

“Right.” Caesar nods. He sinks his fist into his gut.  
Brunner grunts and doubles over.

“Let’s have a chat about this.” Caesar says calmly and shoves him down onto the bench. My plate jumps.  
I look around, everyone was watching and no one was saying a word.

Caesar crouches in front of Brunner, “Your buddies are the scum of the earth. They’re not fit to clean the shit off my boots. Frankly they’re lucky if they’re only getting kicked out." He sounded so calm, I’d never seen this side of him before. It was terrifying.

“Not!” Brunner spits out, still trying to force air into his lungs.

“Shh shh shh.” Caesar pats his cheek, “That’s enough. Now why don’t you fuck off so my friend and I can have breakfast in peace?”

Brunner makes a growling noise.

“Is there a problem here?” Eric asks calmly.

I jump, I hadn’t heard him coming. How did a man that big move so quietly?

“Nah. We were just having a friendly chat. Right, Brunner?” Caesar says with a big smile.

Brunner doesn’t seem to want to add to the conversation. He gets up and stumbles a little. Caesar steadies him, holding a little tighter than necessary.

“Careful, buddy!” Caesar says good naturedly.

He shoves away from him and stumbles out the room.  
I look to Caesar. Holy shit.

Eric nods at him and leaves the room.

Caesar takes Brunner’s vacated spot and pulls his tray closer. He’d gotten an omelette too.

“How you holding up?” He asks.

Was this the same guy? Who wound us up and teased us and joked with us? I knew he had to be combat trained but that was brutal and efficient.

“I’m fine. Be glad when things go back to normal.” I start eating my omelette.

“Nero told me what happened. He said you were a kid, right?”

I nod, I didn’t really want to be interrogated.

“That sucks. What a creep.” He stabs his omelette, “You know when you guys are starting up the sims?”

“No.” I shake my head, “I need to talk to Four about it. But hopefully soon, I want to prove I deserve to be here.”

He chuckles and looks at the small puddle of blood on the floor, “I don’t think anyone thinks you don’t deserve to be here.”

 

I walk away from Four with a grin on my face. We started the sims up again in a few days, it had been decided that if that memory came up again they were just to pull me out immediately and give it an hour before trying again. Four told me that our fears could change and their order could too, it wouldn’t be fair if I got that one first and they pulled me out right away and logged that as my time. I didn’t care, I just wanted to get back to normalcy. 

He also told me that Euan's trial had been scheduled, a few days after we started up again. And it was looking to be one of the most publicised events in recent history. They were setting an example, no matter how much power you had you were not above the law. Four told me he would likely be sentenced to death, that didn’t bother me as much as I thought it would.

People watch me as I walk through the corridors, I was getting used to it already. 

Four and Lauren had my fellow initiates continue with physical training but I was exempt today since I’d just gotten out of hospital so I decided to go and pay Eric a visit. Aside from this morning I hadn’t seen him since Jack Kang interviewed me.

He was sitting at his desk amongst towers of files with a dark look on his face.

“Hey.” I say softly, “Is this a bad time?”

He looks up at me, relief in his eyes, “No. Come in.”

I step in and close the door, “What’s all this?”

“incident reports and personnel files. That never made it past that fucker.” He spits the words, “I’ve been in Amity but no one will talk.”

I nod, “There isn’t a whole lot of trust for Dauntless in Amity.”

I lift a file and open it.

He looks frustrated, “I’m trying to help.”

“That’s what Euan told them. And nothing happened. What reason do they have to trust you?” I ask and set the file back down.

He sighs and nods, “I know. How do I get them to trust me?”

“I honestly don’t know.” I take a seat.

“Would you come with me?”

I frown, “What?”

“You used to be Amity. They might trust you. Talk to you. Without some sort of statement from them these assholes are going to keep getting away with this. They know you.”

I chew on my lip, “That might not go as well as you think.”

“Why not?” He looks desperate.

“My mother is a midwife. Specialising in home births. A lot of the women who were raped and got pregnant opted to give birth at home. I helped my mom, with deliveries and pre and post natal care. A lot of them didn’t keep their babies.” I look down, “The guilt on their faces when they saw us after..”

“What happened?” He asks quietly.

“What do you think happens to children no one wants?”

Silence hung in the air. I was always told it was done humanely, that they didn’t feel any pain. Somehow that wasn’t a comfort when talking about babies.

I never could understand how they could even use the word ‘humane’ for that. Why the children couldn’t just be given to someone else. There were people who couldn’t have children and would have welcomed an unwanted baby into their homes with open arms. My mother would have taken them all in a heartbeat rather than giving them to the Erudite doctor.

“I need to try. If I don’t try then this will keep happening. Please?” 

I look up at him. He was begging me.

“Okay. I’ll try, I can’t guarantee they’ll speak to me, but I'll try.” I nod, “I start physical training tomorrow then on Monday we're back on sims.”

“I'll pull you out of physical. We'll be back by Monday.”

“Will Four be okay with that?”

He shrugs, “I’m not planning on asking him. This is important.”

“He might disagree.” I point out.

“Like I said, I’m not asking.”

This would go well.

 

I joined my friends for lunch. I didn't tell them about going back to Amity, honestly I didn't think it would work, for most of them it was a horrible trauma that they'd been forced to relive once for no reason and they likely wouldn't want to do it again. But Eric was right, we had to try. Plus it would be nice to see my family again, I'd missed my mom and my siblings.

I glance around as Sam recounts his fight with a boy from my class, apparently he was terrible, a lot of people glanced in my direction. Some looked angry, some curious. I met eyes with a few, some nodded and most of the others looked a way. A couple glared at me. I wondered if they were ones who had raped someone or if it was a friend or family member. I think back to the files on Eric's desk. There had been a lot, more than I dared to count. How could this have become such a huge problem? Four, Lauren and Eric drilled into us day after day that our job was to protect the people in the city. Was this a new thing? Were older members like Euan not taught this? Was there a different mentality? But then there were guys like that guy this morning. He wasn’t that much older than me.  
I sigh and drop my fork, rubbing my face. This was giving me a headache.

“You alright, Salem?” Coby asks.

I nod, “Yeah. Sorry. My brain is going at a million miles an hour on things I’d really rather not think about.”

“You did the right thing.” Sam assures me, “People like that don’t deserve to be in Dauntless.”

“He's right.” Nero adds, “There’s nothing brave about raping someone. Especially someone who trusts you to keep them safe. If anything, that makes it more pathetic.”

More heads turn in our direction.

Oh boy.

Caesar shoves himself onto the bench beside his brother, pushing Sam and Nero up the bench, “If it isn’t my baby brother.” He isn’t looking at us or Nero, he's looking at the people watching us. Everyone tries very hard to look anywhere but at us.

What the hell did he do to get that kind of response? I mean, Eric was a leader, and frankly kind of scary, so that made sense. Every time Caesar interacted with us he was a total goofball. It didn’t make sense.

“Hey! Darien!” Caesar waves over a tall dark haired man over. He was over 6 feet tall and built like going through a wall would be nothing but a minor inconvenience to him, “Girls, shove up. Let him have a seat.”

Coby and I move up the bench and the human tank takes a seat beside us. Nero goes bright red.

“Guys, this is Darien. He’s a friend and squad mate of mine.” Caesar grins, “Darien, this is Salem, Coby, Sam, and you know my baby brother Nero.” He points to each of us in turn and pats Nero’s head.

He nods, “Hi.” He starts eating.

Big talker, this guy.

I glance around, people were still stealing glimpses at us. I thought Darien would be on the receiving end of the nervous stares. But it wasn’t, people were still looking at Caesar.

 

What the hell?


	14. Classified

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sims continue and Four and Eric have a little surprise for the initiates.

“Come on. Just tell me.” I hum and kiss his neck.

“For the last time. No.” Eric growls and makes a feeble attempt to throw me off him.

“Why not?” I ask softly. That spot he liked was here somewhere.

“Because I said no.” His voice falters. Ah. There is was.

“But I want to know.”

“Oh. Well in that case.” He says sarcastically.

I sit up and pout my lips, folding my arms under my bare breasts, “Come on. Why don’t you tell me what Caesar's job is? It’s not like it’s top secret.”

He clenches his jaw.

I raise an eyebrow, “It is? What kind of job is classified in Dauntless?”

His face does a stunning impression of a granite wall.  
I start to climb down the bed when his phone ring. I almost growl when he answers it.

“Hello Max.” He says pointedly.

I roll my eyes and move to climb off him. He grabs my wrist. I yank it back and he sits up, grabbing my arm and yanking me beside him, “Yes.”

I growl at him and try to twist away but he’s on top of me before I can move.

“I don’t really see why that's my problem.” He informs Max as he pins my arms with his free hand.

I smile sweetly and grind my hips against his, he was hard as a rock.  
He scowls and jams the phone between his shoulder and ear, pinning my hips with his other hand on my abdomen.  
I mouth ‘Lower’  
I see that hungry spark in his eyes and smile innocently.

“I’ll be there in an hour.” Max must have not liked that answer because Eric’s scowl deepens, “Because I have something to take care of.” He hangs up and shoves his phone in the drawer beside the bed.

“You're going to take care of me?” I ask, as sweet as honey.

 

It was over an hour later when I finally left Eric’s apartment. My legs weren’t doing too hot but luckily they weren’t all that necessary today, today we were doing sims again. After my disastrous first attempt things had gotten better. The memory rarely came up and when it did it was usually at the end. Although I'd added a fear to my roster which involved me fighting Eric to the death. That wasn’t awesome.  
Sim Eric was just as hard to beat as real Eric. And I'd quickly discovered that there was no negotiating, I killed him or he killed me. I hadn’t won yet.  
Still, my times were great. I was back on top, at the moment Coby was under me but that changed every day, she and Sam were pretty even when it came to this.

My intention had been to go for breakfast but Eric’s morning exercise had gone over which put breakfast out the picture. Four wasn’t impressed when I showed up late, despite always going last he wanted us all there on time. I took my seat next to the two remaining transfers, there had been more but one had thrown herself into the chasm and the others had left. I felt bad, I’d seen them drag the girl out of the waters but I had no idea what her name was, I’d spent very little time with anyone outside my friend group and Eric. And between him, Sam, and my odd one night stands I rarely slept in the dorm. Although Eric had insisted I slept there tonight for reasons unknown.

I watch an apprehensive Dauntless born girl go into the room. I knew her, her name was Siren. It was wildly appropriate, she was hot. And really nice. We’d spent some time chatting on career day, we had both been speaking to Nolan about who was getting his job as squad commander now that he’d been given Euan’s role in leadership. He said he didn't know, but if we did well and played our cards right then it could be one of us. I talked to him about it a little more, if I was being honest I kind of had my eye on the job. I knew that as the top ranked initiate I’d have automatic acceptance into the leadership program, but I’d discussed it with Eric and told him I didn't want to be a glorified secretary until someone died or retired. He told me that the squad commander was a good place to go as an alternative. I’d have actual fulfilling work to do and when someone did die or retire I’d get approached first.

I spent a lot of time with Nolan anyway, we still ran every morning and he’d started telling me about how the job worked and answered my questions. He’d joked that by the time I took the job I wouldn't need any training.

I was really looking forward to finishing training, Colby had got Max to pull some strings so the two of us would be sharing an apartment next door to Sam and Nero. She was already planning what it was going to look like.

“Salem!” Four calls.

I blink and stand, everyone else was gone. How the heck had I missed that? Apparently I’d been so deep in my own head I hadn’t noticed everyone else going through.  
I follow Four into the room. Eric was, once again, missing. He hadn’t been here for a few days now that I thought about it. I guessed he must have been busy with the investigation. There were dozens of trials to organise plus Euan’s was still ongoing, I couldn’t get away from it. Although Eric had hinted it would be coming to an end soon, and they were still avoiding having to bring me in to give testimony, which I was grateful for. I just wanted to get through initiation.

I lay on the bed and take a deep breath as the pads were attached. My stomach did a little flip, no matter how many times I did these I still felt ill right beforehand. I didn't want to go into my own head and battle my fears, I didn't want to feel afraid. 

“Ready?” Four stands over me.

I nod and close my eyes. 

 

I leave the room a few minutes later, my head pounding. It hadn't come up again, Four noted that out hadn't come up at all all week. I didn't know what to make of that and apparently he didn't either because he sent me on my way without another word. I check the time, I had enough time to change before I met the guys for dinner. 

I take a shower and stand wrapped in a towel drying my hair. The room seemed so empty now, there hasn't been many of us left after the first round of training but with the rest gone it was even more noticeable. The two remaining transfers were in the room, talking quietly to each other. He seemed to be reassuring her. 

I had to admit they were doing well, he was above average and held his place firmly. She was riding the line separating those staying and those who would be getting kicked out. Once or twice she'd gone below it but she'd always managed to get back up there again. They were fighters and I respected them for that.   
I step into the room after drying my hair and get dressed. As usual neither of them said a word to me, I didn't take it personally, I'd never managed to forge any friendships with my fellow transfers and I'm sure a few of them resented me being in with the Dauntless born. But it wasn't as though I'd actively sought out their friendship, it was a pure accident. And besides, it wasn't as though I'd reaped any benefits from it. 

Well, not really. 

 

Dinner was odd. There was a strange buzz in the air, and Caesar kept grinning at us like he knew something we didn't.   
It was infuriating.

“Will you just tell us?!” Nero snaps. 

But that just made him grin harder. We gave up trying to get any information out of him, but now we officially knew something was happening. We talked about how our sims went and inevitably or conversation steered towards what we wanted to do after initiation.

“I'm not sure.” Colby hums, “I'm leaning towards the open ambassador position, it'll be a lot of hard work but I think it'll be worth it.”

Sam shrugs, “I dunno. Probably go for a squad leader job. I don't really wanna be stuck in an office all day. I’d go nuts.”

“I don't know. I'll probably just be a rank and file guard.” Nero says miserably, the sims were really kicking his ass, he wasn't in danger of being kicked out but we all knew that the lower down in the rankings you were the less rosy your career options were.

“Nothing wrong with that.” Caesar says as he loads more mash onto his plate. 

“You can say that with your bullshit top secret job.”

“I started as a rank and file. There's room for promotion.” Caesar points out. 

Nero scoffs asks looks to me, “Salem? What about you?”

“I don't know.” I shrug, “I guess I'd go for Nolan's old job. Squad Commander. I keep getting reminded that I'll qualify for leadership but really what's the point if there sent any open positions available?” I finish up my lasagne, “I'd effectively be someone's bitch until someone retires or kicks the bucket.”

“Or gets sacked. Or arrested.” Caesar adds cheerily. 

“Thanks for the reminder.” I grumble, “Squad commander seems like the best position. Close enough to leadership that they'll consider me if a position becomes available but I'll actually have a proper job.”

“You'd be my boss. Gross.” Caesar teases.

“Would I rank high enough to know what you do?” I laugh.

He pauses and frowns, “Huh. I don’t know, actually.”

We all turn to him.

“Are you serious?” Nero frowns, “The squad commander doesn’t know what you do?”

“I mean, maybe. I know the leaders do. I imagine the squad commander would have to know...” He trails off, his mind a million miles away.

We look at each other with identical expressions of confusion.

 

My fellow transfers were already in bed when I return to the dorm a little after curfew. The girl looks up and frowns but says nothing as she snuggles back into her bed. I could understand her confusion, I hadn’t been in the dorm for about a week. The boy shows no reaction, he was either asleep or didn’t care that someone had just wandered into the room. 

I get changed and climb into my bed at the other side of the room, my head hit the pillow just as the lights went out, signalling that it was time for us to be in bed and asleep. I close my eyes and let my brain switch off.

 

What felt like seconds later the lights were on and Four was yelling at us to get up.

“What the hell?!” The boy cries as he gets up off the floor.

“War games. Get ready.” Four says with a smirk.

I climb out of bed and sluggishly start pulling my clothes on.

“What?” The girl squeaks, “What is that?”

“Get dressed and you’ll find out. Unless you'd rather leave too?” Four steps aside so he’s not blocking the door, “The exit is that way.”

The girl watches me and her friend getting dressed, if she has any further questions or protests she keeps them to herself and starts pulling her clothes on.

 

Less than an hour later were on the train going into the city. Four and Eric stand in the middle of the carriage, wearing the same body armour as the rest of us, but their shoulder pads were coloured. Eric's red and Four’s blue.

I stifle a yawn as they explain what's going on.

“War games.” Eric grins, “A chance for you to show us what you’ve learned and get you used to working in a team. Four and I are leaders, you’ll be split between us. And to make things interesting we'll also have more experienced members of Dauntless in the teams.” He indicates behind him to the members. Caesar grins. Nero looks like he wants to throw something at him.

“Rules are simple. Capture the other teams flag.” Four hums, he and Eric pull flags out their bags to match their shoulder pads, “By any means necessary. Now, I’m sure you’re all wondering about these.” He lifts his gun.

I had been. They didn’t want us to actually shoot each other, did they?

“These fire sim darts. Now don’t think that makes this easier. They feel like a real bullet.” Four warns.

“For example.” Eric fires at a Dauntless born initiate who seems to be falling asleep. 

His eyes fly open and he cries out in agony, gripping his leg where the dart pierced his skin.

“Thank you, Eric.” Four says over his pained cries.

A Dauntless member pulls the dart out of the initiates leg and moments later he’s back on his feet, although slightly shaken.

“Time to pick teams.” Eric announces, “Initiates first.”

“You start.” Four offers.

“Salem.”

I nod and move to his side. No one shows any surprise.

“Sam.” Four hums.

Eric narrows his eyes and makes his next selection.

The girl transfer is last to be chosen and joins Four. Eric looks a little smug as he picks Caesar. He high fives Nero and I as he joins Eric's team. 

When the last person is chosen Four volunteers to get off first. Eric didn't protest and turns to us once they'd cleared off, “Whoever shoots Four first gets extra vacation time.”

The members laugh.

“What’s the plan?” Caesar asks, standing with his arms folded.

“Destroy them.”


	15. Fearless?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah. I'm bad at updating.   
> I haven't really been in the mood for writing. But I have the bug back :)

We got off the train. Eric decided that Four was most likely to find somewhere to hide the flag and guard it heavily, sending out small attack groups.

Eric wanted to leave a small group of people with the flag and go for a full assault. 

“Won’t he be expecting that?” I ask, “I mean, he’s not gonna assume you’re gonna camp the flag. He’s gonna think you’re gonna...well, do exactly what you just said.”

“Got a better plan, initiate?” He asks, slightly grumpy.

“Where is he most likely to go?” I ask and look out over the grounds, “Somewhere with good defences. High ground so he can see us coming.”

Caesar moves to my side and surveys the area, “There?” He points to an old tower, surrounded by several smaller buildings and ruins.

I nod, “He probably has the flag at the top. What we need to do is force him to come to us.”

“Put the flag somewhere they can catch a glimpse of it. Hope that his surprise and the large volume of hot heads in his team will convince him to abandon their posts.” Caesar continues.  
“Half our force stays to defend the flag, half goes to get theirs.” I nod.

Caesar scans our teammates, “We have better shooters. It could work. He’ll never see it coming.”

“Exactly!” I grin and turn to Eric, “What do you think?”

“I don’t like it.” He pauses, “So Four will never suspect it.”

 

Half an hour later the flag was secured in a ruined house with a big gaping hole in the roof, making it clearly visible from the tower.

Eric altered the plan slightly, opting to send a smaller group of better shooters to get the flag. Caesar and I were in that group. A small group visibly guarded while the rest lay hidden. We gave it some time and slipped away.

We walked slowly and quietly, splitting up to surround the building. I caught a glimpse of the blue luminescent flag at the top of the tower, we were right.

We held our positions, Four had to make the first move for this plan to work. If he stayed camped then the whole thing went to shit. 

Finally there was a flurry of movement, the hot heads had won out. The majority of their team moved out towards the shack.  
I waited for two beats after the last person moved past me and pressed on, we were going to win.

I heard footsteps behind me and glanced back, I recognised the man as a dauntless member on my team and thought nothing of it. I wouldn’t say no to some back up when we ran into the people they left behind to guard the flag. 

A shot rang out behind me and something sailed past my ear. I startled and leapt to the side, behind a decaying wall. The man on my team held a small gun in his hand, his face furious.  
I realised it wasn’t a sim dart gun, it was an real gun. That was a bullet that had almost hit me.

“What the fuck?!” I demand, “The fuck are you doing?”

More shots hit the wall. I duck down.

“Stupid bitch!” He snarls, “My brother got kicked out of Dauntless because of you!”

Shit. I look down at the gun in my hands. The darts would only do so much, he would pull them out and keep coming. I didn’t have a back up or a knife with me. I was fucked.

No one would think anything of some yelling and gunfire. This asshole could kill me and no one would probably notice until they were back.

I hear him move forward. I jerk up and fire in his direction, keeping my finger on the trigger until he goes down, crying out in pain. I sling the gun over my shoulder and book it. My best hope was to run into someone and tell them what was happening.

Pain bursts in my shoulder and I stumble over my feet, landing face first on the gravelly ground. A knife protrudes from my shoulder and my new best friend charges towards me.  
I yank the knife out and throw it, my aim with my left hand was shit and it sailed right over his head. He held his gun out, aiming for my head. I laid flat, he'd have to get closer for a clean head shot.

I squeeze my eyes shut as he approaches. I was going to die. Killed by some rapists idiot brother. And there was fuck all I could do about it.

My eyes fly open as I hear a cry of pain and a gurgling sound. My would-be killer stands a few feet away from me, his eyes wide and a red line drawn across his neck. Blood pours down his neck he crashes to his knees and clamps his hands over the wounds but it was already to late. His skin was white and ashy. Both of the arteries had been cut.

A hand blocks my view. I look up.

Caesar.

“Come on. Let’s get that flag.” His eyes were bright and excited.  
My stomach clenches. My eyes drift down to the blade in his hand, its edge red with blood.

He follows my eyes, “Don’t worry about it.” He flicks the blood off and slides the knife back into his boot.

He killed him. Just sliced his throat like it was nothing. And wanted to go get the flag.

He takes my hand and pulls me to my feet. I stumble.

“You’re good.” It doesn’t seem like a question, “Let’s go.”  
He turns on his heel and moves. I move after him, ignoring the gurgling sound of the man dying behind me. 

That was who Caesar was. That was why people watched him wearily, why no one approaches us when he was there. He was a killer. Did Dauntless have assassins? What for? What did someone like him do for Dauntless?

He stops and ducks behind a wall. I follow, not really knowing what else to do. My brain was still replaying the image of the man who tried to kill me's blood pouring down his neck.

“Ready?” Caesar asks, his voice excited.

I look over the wall. We were at the tower, a few people paced back and forth guarding the stone doorway.

“Ready.” My voice came out more shaky than I would have liked. I’d have liked a moment to process what had just happened but Caesar had another idea.

He stands and squeezes the trigger. The guards yelp and crash to the ground, firing wildly. We wait until we hear the unmistakable clicking sound of a gun out of ammo and get up again. We move forward, Putting a few darts into the downed guards as we pass by.

We start to climb the stairs.

“We got this.” Caesar says confidently, “We're gonna win.”  
We reach the top of the stairs and come face to face with Darien. Caesars friend who looked like he could crush a car with his care hands.

“Alright, bud?” Caesar grins.

Darien grins back, “Let’s do this, twinkle toes.”

They lunge for each other, weapons forgotten. Darien’s fist connects with IPCaesar’s jaw and Caesar had to blink a few times. He whips around and smashes his shin into Darien’s ear.  
“Okay.” I say quietly, “I’ll just let you two do that.” I slip past them and grab the flag. They don’t seem to notice so I take it outside and wave it, “Hey!” I call to the fighting masses, “This isn’t really my colour, any takers?”

Four swears loudly and starts yelling at his team while Eric and our team start cheering. Everyone starts moving towards the tower. I tie the flag around my hips and walk past Caesar and Darien, who were now just straight up brawling on the floor, and go downstairs. 

They’d work it out eventually.

 

Nero hugs me and grins, “We won!”

“We won!” I force a smile and celebrate with my team, trying to think of anything but the guy who’d tried to kill me. He'd be dead by now, right? He couldn’t have lived this long. If Caesar hadn’t killed him he would have killed me, I didn’t doubt that for a second. But it was just so...easy he just snuffed out his life like it was nothing and kept going. Would that be me one day? Would I one day cut someone’s throat and walk over their twitching body and feel nothing? Was that what I wanted?

“We’re missing people.” Four frowns.

“We’re here.” Darien grins, Caesar behind him looking grumpy. They both looked like they’d fallen out a tree and hit every branch on the way down.

He nods, “Still missing Todd.”

“He’s...indisposed.” Caesar shrugs and stretches his arms.

Four and Eric glance to each other and back at him.

“I’ll explain on the way back.” Caesar glances to me. 

I look down. I felt like I was going to vomit.

Eric and Four said nothing.

 

I kept to myself the whole train ride home. I knew death was something I would experience eventually. But I wasn’t prepared tonight. It was supposed to just be a game. Some friendly competition. No one was supposed to die. No one was supposed to try and kill me.  
I felt ill. So much of what I’d done in training was meant to end a life. I could snap someone’s neck, shoot them in the head, throw a knife at them. But there was a difference between training and real life. I hadn’t even killed him and I couldn’t handle it. Was Dauntless right for me?

 

We got off the train and I was immediately grabbed by Eric.

“Come with me.” He dragged me with him. Not that he had to try very hard.

We arrive at his room, “Shower.” He commands.

I obey. I spend a long time under the hot water, scrubbing myself clean until my skin turns red.

I step out and find one of Eric’s too big shirts on the side. I dry off and pull it on, tying my hair up.

In the bedroom Eric sits on the bed, filling some paperwork out. I climb in beside him.

“I can’t do this.” I say.

He finishes writing and puts the paper and pen aside, “If you had witnessed someone having their throat cut and weren’t a little freaked out then I’d think you were a psychopath.”

I didn’t know what to say to that.

“Look. No ones first kill is easy. Or the first death you witness. Its shit. But you’ll get through it.”

I look away as tears sting my eyes.

He wraps his arms around me, “You’ll get through it. You’re strong. You’re Dauntless.”

I bury my face in his chest and sob. I didn’t feel brave.

 

And I sure as hell didn’t feel Dauntless.


End file.
